Easter Weekend: Shreveport Whirlwind

Well this weekend was a 'three day weekend' here on 21 Jump Street so I traveled north to the Shreve for a friend/fam fix.

I went to a strip club for the first time (not counting the all-male one that I went to in New Orleans for Melissa's Bachelorette Party). So, needless to say, I didn't have to look very far for any Easter eggs. Eggs painted and stuffed with regret, that is. I learned what it means when rappers say things such as 'She make dat ass clap" as well as that most of them wipe down the pole before they mount it. All in all, a classy night.

The next day, I got to hang out with my fraand Sass:

We had a romantic date at my favorite place, Tacomania, followed by some patio time at my favorite porch: The Cub.

Saturday, I spent most of the days with these two terrors, I mean, angels as well as the rest of my fam:

Miller

Cooper

Saturday afternoon I spent time at the Oyster Bar and ran into these little gems:

Mark and I

Covilove and myself

Everyone go ahead and take note as to how great my tan (burn) lines look from French Quarter Festival. No, I wasn't wearing a stringy top, I was simply wearing a necklace when I received that deep V mark. This, is why I don't go outside.

Saturday nightt there was a party, in my honor, at the Crawford Mansion Patio. Here are some highlights.

Ambiance

My new best friend Sarah Thomas and Benjamin - the pride of South Highlands.

Now back in New Orleans. We began filming today meaning, free lunches have began. Lobster tail on the first day! So happy here!

LENT UPDATE!

Well, since I gave up everything that is considered Holy and Righteous (see post below) for Lent, I've pretty much eaten nothing but lettuce and salmon for the past two weeks. (Well, except that time that I went to Joey and Megan's Fiesta Wedding Shower and of course it was Build Your Own Burrito day and I ate one and a half. Oops.. I felt really bad about it and purged when I got home. Ok not really, but I did feel bad... convicted would be the proper term/feeling.) Anyway, since I've only eaten sprigs of grass, I feel like I've lost a pound or two. Feel free to compliment me on such the next time you see me.

Anyway. Life has been busy lately. I just found out that I will be coordinating two films coming up. One starting now and the other starting at the end of the month so if you wanted to get any face time in with me before September, now's the time to start booking my free time with fun activities.

Since I won't be doing anything other than being holed up in this office 'til fall, I've decided to arrange a goal if you will, to look forward to. I've decided to take this one...:


...on a trip to NYC! I asked her where in the world does she want to go on a trip. She answered NYC (even though we've already been there AND even though I STRONGLY URGED HER to choose Paris, she wanted New York. She says that Paris would be too expensive b/c that is where the original Louis Vuitton store is and she knows she'd spend a fortune in there. I say, you live once and you're going to be too old and senile by the time we can 'afford' to go to Paris, but whatever...off soapbox (also she wants John to take me there on our honeymoon. Ha! WE AREN'T EVEN ENGAGED!!!)), so off we go to NYC! (I know, I'm the best daughter ever...) So, I've contacted my travel agent and planning is in the works. I've always wanted to do something special for Sue and I feel like this will be a nice way of rewarding her for being a great mom (also, to get her out of the house before her Alzheimer's/dimensia settles in for good).

Major Differences Between Sue and I

Recent conversation via 'text' that my mother and I had:

Kate: "Mom, which Beatle was your favorite?"
Mom: "Paul"
Kate: "Why didn't you like George?"
Mom: "He wasn't as cute and didn't say much."
Kate: "You are so superficial!"

Also, I mentioned that I was ashamed of her after mentioning that George is just like KEITHY! (With the exception of the 'not cute' part). If you have no idea who we are talking about (which, shame on you) here are some photos:

Precious Georgie, whom I was told that James Burton said that he was 'kind'. What a nice description! I believe it. Also, I can NEVER hear enough of his version of "Here Comes the Sun" (which he wrote) so I am certain that this describes him perfectly... bless.


And here's ole Paulie who ended up marrying Peg Leg Mills. Nice judge of character you've got there. Well I guess he's done some cool stuff too, but just doesn't compare to sweet Georgie.


Who's your fave?

Not Safe For Work (No Really)

I saw this yesterday on my way to BFE to go visit my parents.

Yes. This is a naked guy. Pants around ankles. Waddling along Mansfield Road in Stonewall. John and I sat in this turn around for 5 minutes assessing the situation, laughing and taking pictures before we pulled into Sue's. I told them that they should consider relocating. Immediately.

Flashback Tuesday

Most of my childhood was spent being a part of the Summer Grove Baptist Church youth group. Therefore, most of my Flashback Tuesday photos include myself on some sort of church event whether it be a Choir Tour, Youth Camp, Disciple Now, Church Prom or whatever. So, today's FB Tuesday features a Choir Tour:

I'm a little disappointed that Jen Herron's head was cut out here. I'd also like to point out that my brother is in this photo if you didn't recognize him. Also LJ. :) This was one of those Choir Tours where we went around to prisons and sang about the Apostle's Creed and stuff. We weren't allowed to wear our shirts tucked in because of the fear of prisoners ogling us (like they weren't going to do that anyway. I mean, look how hot we were!)

Now, this next photo, I have no idea where it is. Perhaps at a Phase 10 tournament?

Nice Texas Tuxedo down front. Anyway, there is really no telling what is going on here, I am only thankful that my outfit is completely blocked out because I feel that it would be very unfortunate. Oh, and please take note of Mark there in the back looking like he is having a blast! Don't you just love FB Tuesday?

Sunday Surprises

Apparently over the weekend, nephew Miller went to a birthday party where there was a pony ride involved. My parents neglected to tell me about it, yet at least they sent me some photos. I think he gets cuter by the day:

Seriously... no one's baby is cuter than that one. I'm gearing up for Big Brother tonight. It is going to be MAJOR!

Flashback Tuesday

For today's Flashback Tuesday, I thought I would share the story of when I met the black man in my life. Approximately two years ago, I thoroughly perused the Internet/newspaper/Thrifty Nickel in hopes to find the perfect companion for my life. I was sure that having this black man would change my life for the better, so that instead of never being at home, eating out, staying out til the wee hours of the evening, etc. I would stay home and nurture my newest love who depended on me for everything in his life.

So, one day, after much scouring, Sue found him from a breeder/show dog compound in Baton Rouge. The next day, we went and picked him up at a gas station parking lot off I-49 (shady) and then he was mine!!!! Everyone, meet Mr. Pruitt:

This photo was from the very first time that I ever got to meet him. After we picked him up from Shady Gas Station, we took him to Keithy's office for him to get checked out (Keithy is a veterinarian, you know). He checked out perfectly and I took him home and have loved him ever since.

Sad point of the story... Once I finally got him home and living with me and all, my job status changed from regular to movie, which means, that I went from working 8.5 hours in a day to 12+ and I didn't think it was fair to leave Pru Pru at home alone by his lonesome, locked away in a pet carrier for more than half of the day while I was at work. I tried taking him to my parents' house before work every day and then picking him up at night, but this got very tiresome (also, at this point, my parents decided to move from centrally located Line Avenue to basically another country known as Gloster which is even further away than Keithville).

Once they moved, I was out of options. A daily pet sitter was way too expensive so he went to live with my parents. So much for responsibility I suppose. I visit him often and am always so happy to see him, but I miss him so much. One day, when I get a house with a yard (and hopefully a doggie door that Pru will use), I am determined to get him back. In the mean time, he will live in harmony with Sue and Keithy's 4 other little dogs (i.e. Pru's aunts and uncles): Mia, Cookie, Jack and Millie. He gets to play outside in a big yard all day, roll around in dirt, and visit with the aunts and uncles. I think he likes that a lot more than the pet carrier so the end of that story is a happy one. Happy Flashback Tuesday, everyone!

Flashback Tuesday

For today's Flashback Tuesday, I, not only, have decided to post an embarrassing one of myself in the Silver Spurs Milkmaid Classic Onesie and Over Carriage that was our 'school uniform', but also I wanted to introduce you all, formally, to Sue.

Sue is my mother and is actually the sweetest lady you'll ever meet. She was even sweet to me back in high school (during the years that I was forced to wear this monstrosity) when I went through what I like to call 'My Attitude Phase'. During this phase, I was super nice to everyone except Sue. Because I was in my teenage angst period and while still wanting to appear cool to my friends, I would 'act out' toward Sue for no given reason. Well, praise the Lord that high school is over and that I've mostly recovered from the Attitude Phase. The key word there was mostly.

I love you Sue and appreciate you for being the best mother I've ever had! (Yes, she does read this... I think.)

New Layout

Well, I guess you are wondering why Kate on the Cob is different today. Well, someone said something ugly about my Animated Sunglasses, so in order to appease my readers without punching them in the face, I decided to just pick something new. This layout combines two things that I like very much. 1. Coffee 2. Stripes. Enjoy!

I'll leave you with the cutest child (and grandmother) in the world. I detest 'baby blogs' so, soak this photo in because I don't post children's photos often. Unless they are doing something horribly inappropriate. Happy Wednesday!

You Girlfriend Forgot Cake

Last night, John and I, Jim and his wife Katie, John's other brother Chance (sorry, John Belushi only had one other brother so Chance will have to just go by Chance), his girlfriend Amanda and Nancy, Jim, John and Chance's mother all gathered for a birthday dinner at Shogun of Japan.

After our chef 'Ryan' begun cooking our dinner, it was discovered by him that we were there for John's birthday. Then he asked how old. John replied "27". 'Ryan' then made this:

Apparently 'Ryan' thought that John said 'Twenty-something' so that would be a 2 followed by a ? there on the smiley faced heart shaped pile of rice. Then 'Ryan' looks at me and asks John 'Your wife?' John replies 'No, she is my girlfriend.' Then 'Ryan' asked me where the cake was. I looked around and shrugged. Then Nancy decided to throw me under the bus by saying 'I guess I should have gotten the cake. Way to drop the ball, Kate.' So, 'Ryan' says 'Bad girlfriend. You girlfriend forgot cake.' Great, thanks 'Ryan.' He quickly followed up by saying 'No worries, I hook you up.' So after we had finished eating, out comes this fun little pineapple boat:

Followed by a man with a camera to take our photo. Along with the bill, he brings this:

Apparently they were out of the Happy Birthday photo holders, because John got a Happy Anniversary card with the words 'of your birth' added at the end. Classy, Shogun.

Childhood Reflections

Look how pretty these leaves are!

Now, imagine about a thousand of them, dead and buried in between thousands of these:

So, when my brother and I were children, my parents decided it would be a good idea to get a 'rock garden.' Why? I have NO earthly idea. My brother and I protested because we didn't understand their reasoning behind this rock garden, and honestly, flowers are prettier than rocks, but whatever. So, off they went making their beloved garden. I'm pretty sure Jeff and I stayed inside and watched either Old Yeller or Miracle on 34th Street (since these were the only two movies we owned that weren't cartoons), while they planted. Finally it was finished and it looked something like this (except remove cacti and insert gigantic oak trees. Also it was about 10 times this size):

Neat, I thought. A garden, minus flowers. Whatever. Whatever is right! It turns out that my parents secretly had devised a plan for when Jeff and I were to be punished. We would be banished to the 100 degree+ heat whenever we had done something wrong and we were to pick the leaves out of the rock garden. Just thinking back upon this, I wince. I remember wishing so many times to trade lives with Peaches the rat terrier because she didn't have to pick the leaves out of the rock garden. It was absolute torture. There were THOUSANDS of them, literally thousands!

So, yesterday when we went over to John's parents house for Father's day, I noticed that there was an unfinished fenced area around the side of their new house. I asked John, "What's going on over there?" He replied "Oh, Dad wants to build a rock garden." I instantly was teleported back to the age of 7 when I would get bloody and chapped fingers digging out those leaves. Poor Mackenzie and Jon-Thomas (John's 4 and 3 year old sister and brother.) They have no idea about their father's maniacal plan of what is in store for them in the upcoming years.

Baking With Bernice

The past two weeks I've decided to have some quality time with my Granny. She is a precious little lady that I adore and am thankful that she has decided to apprentice me in what she knows best... Pies.

Last week we made a chocolate pie:

That recipe made two pies. (One I took to croquet, which was devoured by the Elite 8. The other, I took to my mother-in-law as a peace offering. I received a text from her well past midnight telling me that she stood over the counter eating it out of the tin with a spoon. Guess it was good.)

Today, we made a "Lemon Ice Box Pie":

Okay. Guilty. So it's a picture of the same pie, but they look the same anyway after the cool whip is on top. Here is a recipe for the Lemon version:

1 can sweetened condensed milk

2 egg yolks (she underlined yolks, no whites)

Stir real good

Add 3/4 cup REAL lemon juice.

Stir well until it gets thick and pour into cookie crust. (Store-bought graham cracker crust. Super 1 has a special on them for 50 cents each right now, she informed me.)

Bake at 350 for 15 minutes.

Let cool and top with Cool Whip

And there you have it. Bernice's secret Lemon Ice Box pie recipe. You are welcome readers, you are welcome. Next week, we will be learning how to make 'That Green Stuff' that she swears is delicious. The week after that, Caramel Pies. Stay tuned.

Things That Could Go Horribly Wrong (Part Deaux) And Did

My precious mother requested the presence of John and I at church on Sunday. Apparently the church was offering free family portraits for Mother's Day, so of course, Sue wanted one. Off we go.

We get there at like 1030 (always a little early) and make our way through the greeters (it was almost like running a football route to get around them). We spot Keithy, looking VERY exasperated, near the Welcome Area. He gives me a look as if to say 'Thank God you are here, I am miserable trying to keep Miller from squawling and throwing fits, etc.' I look at John with worry in my eyes because, oh great, we are about to cause a scene trying to get this photo taken.

We get over near the Queen Anne wingbacked chair and I say, "We'll get in the back!!!!!!!" only for the 'Photographer' to place me perched atop an arm about to fall into Sue's lap. Not happy. Oh yeah, Miller is SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER at this point. Apparently, my brother has taught him how much fun drums can be so that's what he'd rather be doing. Funny, I'd rather be in a mental institution. So Annie steps away with Miller and they take one of only Sue, Keithy, John, Jeff and I. We think THANK GOD ITS OVER. And mosey into the sanctuary.

But of course that isn't good enough. Sue stamps her foot and says "I want one with Miller in it!" (take note Annie, you weren't requested. Your feelings should be hurt). So after Miller gets his pacifier AND a drum stick in his hand we try to round everyone up again:

Don't be fooled, readers, these are not looks of happiness. Anyway, we FINALLY got the picture and moved on to the service.

I won't mention how the church service was, but I will say that I felt as though I was in the middle of a 90 minute Timeshare Presentation. Not only was it Baby Dedication day (which is more like a parade to see who lost the baby weight the fastest) but it was 'Let's Play The Oldest Mother/Mother With the Most Children/Mother that Traveled the Farthest to Sit Through This Standing In the Room Gets A Flower Game.' At one point I looked over and Sue was clipping her nails (I AM NOT JOKING).

I'm just glad it's over and that Sue got her picture.

Why Don't Animals Attack When You Want Them To?

This past weekend, I participated in the Martin Family Annual Crawfish Boil. Instead of Tshirts this year, we got cups!!! (The picture is a little blurry, but it says "Who's Your Crawdaddy?) It was a great party that included many many plumerias (which I will have to post about another day), 350+ lbs of crawfish, 1 margarita machine, and 2 kegs of Bud Lite.

I met a member of the family that I had never met before. THE Aunt Molly from Amarillo. This lady was FANTASTIC! She made taquitos, biscuits and gravy, lasagna, pea salad (don't like pea salad, but I'd eat hers every day for the rest of my life) and I'm sure there were plenty of other delicacies to write home about that appeared before I got there and were eaten after I left. (Mrs. Pam - if you are reading this, I'm going to need to get these recipes. She should write a cookbook!)

I got to visit with some friends whom I haven't seen in what seems like ages, but it's really only been like a month. Melissa and I even had a slumber party. Except we are too old to actually stay up all night, so we just gossiped and then fell asleep around 10, like our parents do. We got to see Raymond, The Blairs, The Harts (who we see more often than the rest) and so on and so on. Behold:

(Pictured above is John, Melissa and Kristen.) As we were sitting at the table enjoying our crawfish, a hellion child came over with a live crawfish and thought it would be fun to semi-attack us with it. I was hoping for the crawfish to put up a fight:

He proceeded to hold it (as pictured above) and take it around and either throw it at people, or leave it on their shoulders. Not cool, kid. Not cool. At one point he approached me with it. I said "You need to go ahead and take that away from this table, right now" (and then stomped my foot.) How motherly of me! I said it in a mean tone, like if he didn't stop, I was going to report him to his parent. And he left. He wandered away to torture someone else. Kristen decided that he behaves this way because he has a much younger sibling and is acting out to regain the attention that he once had, but has now lost. She's going to be a great mom!

Speaking of future great moms, here's Jen (Eric's sis) and her new puppy Jax. He is an American Bulldog (pit) and Boxer mix. Many Michael Vick jokes later, Jennifer decided to wrap Jax's neck with Mardi Gras beads for decoration. (Jen, down the road when you wonder why he's so violent, report back to this photo.)


A fun weekend was had by all. Many thanks to Ron, Pam and the rest of the Martins for their hospitality!

I Don't Want To See Babies, Except This One

So this is my ADORABLE nephew Miller. He has quite an attitude, just like his Aunt Kate.


Yesterday, I updated my Facebook status to say, "Kate is tired of seeing pictures of babies. Was that ugly?" And some people, naturally were offended. My thinking is that if you were offended, then you are guilty of showing too much of your baby. Facebook has gone from seeing pictures of people having fun and doing super amazing things and documenting their lives to posting baby pictures. How boring! I want to see pictures of you doing things that I can discuss with my friends later. It's either that, or we'll discuss how ugly your baby is. Maybe it's the age that I'm at. Everyone is popping out children. Perhaps I should find younger friends. Or perhaps I should delete Facebook (yeah right.)

I don't care for children. Except this one. And his baby brother or sister (hopefully sister) that I just found out about!!! Wooo hoo! I'll care for that one as well.

Things I Look Forward To

My family doesn't really have reunions (there are like 4 of us, total). Or maybe they do, but they know that I would make up any excuse to get out of going to them so they just stopped inviting me. That is more than likely the case.

This weekend I'm traveling to Tyler, TX for the 4th (possibly 5th) Annual Crawfish Boil at the Martin's home. The Martins:

Aren't they a handsome bunch? If I had to choose a family other than my own to reunite with year, after year, I would definitely choose them. So, like I was saying, every year they have a crawfish boil at their home and relatives from all over come to visit. Not only do they include family, but they include all of their kids' friends as well. That's where I come in. They have a 'family-of-choice' reunion of sorts, if you will.

There is always so much going on. Captain Ron and Mrs. Pam have a karaoke machine that everyone loves to partake in (Jennifer and Shawn):

Also, they have a margarita machine and a pool (not that I am about to go parading around in my bathing suit in front of people), so the kids are occupied. Every year they make t-shirts for everyone to put on. 2007 they were yellow (see above). And last year they were blue:

I always get excited about new T-shirts! By the end of the night, they are sure to be covered in crawfish residue, jambalaya and spilt beer. Everyone ends up karaokeing until we are hoarse and then fall asleep all over their house.

The Martin's are definitely my family away from family and I appreciate them and their hospitality more than they will probably ever know. And their margaritas!

Things That Could Go Horribly Wrong

Sporadically over the past two weeks, my boss has decided to bring one of her pets to work with her. No big deal, right? I LOVE dogs (not cats) and get along pretty well with most four legged creatures. So, I think to self: "Great, something fun to entertain me." Wrong:

Don't get me wrong, this pot-bellied piglet is adorable. It oinks and sniffs and squeals all over the office. And don't underestimate the speed of a hoofed creature. It is an embarrassing workout trying to pick him up and or to catch him. I've almost fallen on my face trying. Twice. (Perhaps this is why they have 'Greased Pig Chases' at rodeos. Thanks Dad for having me participate in such humiliating contests as a child. What a doting father.)

Anyway, so as I'm sitting at work today after having caught 'Piggie' (original name), all of a sudden it hits me. OH MY STARS DOES THIS THING HAVE THE SWINE FLU???? I dropped him, he squealed and peed under my desk. Damn, you Pig! I felt sort of guilty and darted out to wash my hands. (Boss was outside having a breathing treatment (cig) so no one saw and pig was uninjured.)

I mean seriously, people. After work I'm heading to CVS to get some TamiFlu and a SARS mask.

I Dream of Blue?

Growing up, we had a cat. Don't ask why. We all hated cats for different reasons. My brother was allergic, Mom hated all the hair everywhere, and I thought they were shady. Nonetheless, one day Keithy brought a cat to the house and it ended up becoming a permanent resident. She looked a lot like this:

We didn't know what to name her because none of us really liked her. We decided that in certain lights she had a blueish tint to her coat, so therefore we named her Blue. Original, I know. (Turns out she came with a different name, but we all thought that Sir Nelson was a little formal and weird, AND Sir Nelson turned out to be a Miss Nelson, thus the name change).

Blue lived with us for about 5 years when Mom came up with the idea that she wanted to build a new house. So Blue and the 4 dogs that we had at the time (My stepdad is a vet, don't judge) moved. Sue decided that Blue shed WAY too much to have her live in the house, so she was banished to the garage. She acted like she always wanted to come inside, but secretly I think she loved it out there. She got to hunt bugs, mice and had numerous adventures to where she would go missing for a few days here and there.

Over the course of her garage life, she lost an eye. So then her name changed from Blue to Blue the One Eyed Cat. At some point I accidentally ran over her with the car when backing out of the garage. I never told my parents that for obvious reasons... then eventually she passed away a few years later. I eventually told Mom, but not Keithy.

So last night, under the influence of a Tylenol PM, Blue came to me in a dream. It was very surreal because in the dream, I lived at the house in Ruston that I lived for 2 years. There were all of these cats wanting to come inside the house, and Blue was one of them. (I called her simply Blue because in this dream, she had both eyes). She seemed to be trying to tell me something.... then my phone rang in real life and woke me up. I wish I could have been asleep just a little bit longer in case she had something important to tell me.

Oh well. I'm just glad to know that when she went to heaven, she got her other eye back.