Surprises on Girl's Night

Last night I went to meet Carie, Melissa and Bevin for a nightcap at the Christian Union Building. Boy, was I in for a treat! I was chatting with Melissa about this lady who has a Massage Therapy and Pain Management Mobile Massage business and how one of her packages includes a 'Lypossage' which is a cellulite remover (or so she claims. If you want this lady's number, message me.) As I was imagining how awkward it would be for someone to rub my thighs and ass for an hour, this precious soul appeared on a stool next to me:

Ladies and gents, may I introduce Mrs. Diana Hunter (go read her blog here: http://dianaorienyc.blogspot.com/ ). I met Diana two years ago through our mutual friend Mrs. Carie Hart. Diana and I share a passion for two of the same things: wine and cheese. And by cheese, I mean all types of cheese (brie, gouda, blue, cheddar, feta, goat, swiss... I could go on forever.) So, as you can see, I was very excited to see her! What a surprise! Diana moved to New York with her new husband right after they got married, so I hadn't seen her since Carie's wedding (December 2007). (Now that I think about it, I might have seen her once since then, but I could be hungover.)

She shared stories about New York and how it's different from Louisiana and etc. etc. Most importantly she claims that she rode the same bus as Charlotte (Kristen Davis). What I want to know, is why the crap is Kristen Davis riding a city bus (reminding me of the episode where Carrie has to ride the bus when she's trying to save money to buy back her apartment from Aiden after they broke up. So she had to make 'lifestyle changes' in order to conserve money. At the bus stop she realizes that her SATC Column is being advertised on the side of the bus and a random lady asks her: "Why do you have to take the bus? You're on the bus!")? So yeah, I know we're in a recession, but seriously, why didn't she invest her money more wisely? Charlotte York McDougal Goldenblatt would never take a city bus. Perhaps Kristen is trying to separate herself from the 'Charlotte' image, but I can think of a lot better ways to do that... like coming out with a sex tape or become involved in a heroin drug ring.

Anyway, it is always so good to catch up with people... especially people who are real, honest, nice people. It is one of the things that I love the most. Just hearing all the great things that people are doing with their lives and how happy they are... it's just a favorite thing of mine.

(PS: Who else jumped up and down with excitement last night, when Jeff put up Natalie and Jessie? Because I sure did. I freaking love Jeff.)

New Poll of the Week!

Well, well, well. I am apparently a blogging fool today. On a roll with three blog entries posted before noon. I guess that's just how this day is going. So, the Poll of the Week closed with 6 of 13 votes saying that they are going to the beach for their summer vacas! That should be fun. And hot. More than likely, ALL of these beach visits are going to the locale below:

This photo was taken of me and my friends in Destin, Florida at a bachelorette party (Top 3 Bachelorette Parties Ever!) for my dear friend Carie Hart back in 2007. There we are, all lined up (minus the two who didn't make it into the photo, sorry Casey and Melissa, I think) on the beach with our matching airbrushed beach chairs. Good times.

Anyway, anyone from Louisiana only goes to one of two locations to the beach. 1. Destin. 2. Gulf Shores. It is a very rare exception to find a Louisianian who goes anywhere other than these two places or anywhere near the 'Flora-bama'. There are other beaches in the world, people! To each his own, I suppose.

So, yesterday, I did something really weird. I woke up by the alarm on my cell phone. Sent and received two texts. I took a shower and got ready. I went downstairs and made my coffee. Then I left the house. I got in the car and realized that I didn't have my cell phone. I went back inside and overturned the entire house for 5 minutes looking for the phone. It wasn't to be found anywhere, so I had to go to work phone-less. I got home from work at 4 and after MUCH intense searching, I found it. The new Poll of the Week is a quiz. So, where did I find my phone? Good luck!

Things That Should Be Surprising, But Aren't

Last night John and I decided to eat at a semi-local establishment for dinner because I got a $5 coupon in the mail. We love finding opportunities to be cheap. So we pull into the parking lot directly next to this:

I feel as though The Diddle Martins have already touched on this topic, but I figured, it is semi-rare that you get an opportunity to get up close and personal with one of these train wrecks, so why not talk about it? Behold, the "Spaghetti O's" car. Please take note at how detailed these people are with their Mazda 626. The rims:

It is as though the wheels are covered in tiny Spaghetti O's that have escaped from the can. On the trunk is the bar code. You know, in case you want to scan it:

Also if you really look hard there is the phone number to the company that painted this car in this fashion... you know, if you are interested in transforming your Sister Civ from a natural Taffeta White into the Suave Strawberry Shampoo car. One last photo, the Nutritional Information Sunroof:

That should wrap up all of the classiness from the pre-dinner parking lot experience. After we ate our fill of chips and queso, we decided that we should make it an official date night and go see The Hangover (warning, rant coming):

I was pretty disappointed with it, to be perfectly honest. I don't know if I didn't like it because it was super predictable, or because people had spoiled parts of it that were 'so hilarious' so I knew what was coming, or if I was trying to figure out the whole time why everyone in the world seemed to think it was the funniest movie of all time. I thought that Heather Graham did a good job and that's about it. I laughed at the credit photos, but I left the theater thinking, Really? That's it? It might not have helped that I saw it with John who was cynical about it based on all of the hype.

Well, I got a surprise when I got home, that's for sure. Evel Dick commented on my blog about Big Brother! I couldn't believe it. It may very well be an impostor, but since it says that he is in the agriculture business on his blog profile, that makes me think it's for real. So, Flashback Tuesday turned out to be an abnormally banner day!

Fighting Words

I woke up last night in a cold sweat. I dreamt that I came home (from somewhere deliciously fun, I'm sure) and that someone had STOLEN my Aqua Globe:

First of all, who would do such a thing? It's not like I paid anything for my Aqua Globe (John's stepmother gave it to me for free!), but it's also not like a person couldn't go up to Bed Bath and Beyond and get 2 of them for like 10 bucks. I guess that's the whole point of stealing though, so you don't have to pay for stuff.

The reason that I love my Aqua Globe so dearly is that it is responsible for keeping a birthday gift of mine alive. Two years ago (the year of the Toga Party), my dear friends Eric and Melissa Martin gave me a beautiful plumeria plant (whom I have affectionately named Penelope). I had always wanted one since I went to their parents' house and they had a beautiful garden full of them (like you stepped into Hawaii for a minute or something.)

However, mine does not look like it hails from Hawaii. Meet Penelope:

Not very impressive, I know. But I consider it a victory of enormous proportions that there are leaves at this point. I was pretty sure that I had killed her after last winter. You're supposed to take her inside right before the first frost in order to seduce her into a dormant winter. (Sounds sexy huh?) So I did that, and all the leaves fell off and it went to sleep for about 5 months. When I put her back out, I repotted her with new soil and a new pot AND plant food. This was back in March. Finally, thanks to the Aqua Globe and the plant food, we have leaves, thus Penelope isn't dead.

This is what she should have at some point:

Beautiful blooms!!! I haven't seen a bloom on her since I got her back in November 2 years ago. So we will see what happens. In the mean time, my neighbors better leave my Aqua Globe alone.

Room for Improvement

I occasionally have those mornings where I wake up late and don't have the energy or time to wash, dry, straighten this mane of hair on my head without being late for work. Actually, usually I have plenty of time but I'm just too lazy to do it. It takes me FOREVER to dry my hair and I get so overheated due to hair dryer that I've gotten to the point of just drying it halfway and saying "Screw You" to the rest of it. On top of the heat-issue, my hair has gotten to a length where it isn't easy to lean my head over the bathtub and wash it effectively anymore. (For the record, I take baths at night and don't wash my hair at the same time because if I sleep on it after washing it, it gets all lumpy and wavy and not right. Just letting yall know that I bathe every day.) Enter Psssssst (pronounced like it's spelled):

Side story: Once upon a time, my good friend Melissa and I took a trip to Drug Emporium in search of Psssssst, because that is where Barber Sass informed me that it can be purchased inexpensively. We walk in D.E. and peruse the never ending shampoo aisles. There are seriously like 3 shampoo aisles, which is a little ridiculous, but it's good to know that they have such a nice selection. Anyway, so I look and look and look and I can't find the Psssssst ANYWHERE. Great. So Melissa and I go to the cashier area and ask for assistance. We tell the girl what we're looking for and she points us to condoms. No! We tell her. Psssssst isn't a type of contraceptive, it is spray shampoo. Finally we find it with no help from her. We laughed for a long time about that story at the time... Ah memories.

So, like I was saying before, Psssssst can be a real lifesaver when you are too lazy to wash your hair. You simply point and shoot where your hair looks greasy (i.e. territory where an egg could be fried), and it sprays white talc or something that I'm sure is really harmful to the environment as well as yourself and off you go with perfect 'clean' hair. Barber Sass also told me that Ken Paves uses Psssssst on Jessica Simpson's hair (which I'm sure is true since it is rumored that she is an unbathing, disgusting person. I know this because she craps in her wardrobe from film sets... another story, another day.) instead of washing it. Barber Sass' mother D.D. also told me that Psssssst, as she pronounced P.S.S.S.S.S.S.T., was a hot commodity in the 70's, back when people flat ironed their hair with actual irons.

I am not upset at all about not being born in that decade if you were wondering. So, I used Psssssst a few times. It just doesn't work right for me. I find that unless you have dirty to light blond colored hair, it leaves gray/white streaks where there should be beautiful strawberry locks. So, instead of looking clean, I just look old. I think that I should write the headquarters of Psssssst and tell them that they could better their product if it came in different shades. White could be for blonds, brown for red/brunettes, and black for black-headed people. I should be a marketing strategist.

Things That Should Be Fun (Part II)

Tonight I am participating in a Croquet Tournament. (This portrait was drawn from life with Melissa Martin and Mardi James Loftin-Martin as the models.)

This should be a VERY interesting evening. Originally we were playing on teams, but since Wednesday it has come down to every man for himself. Sounds pretty cutthroat to me. That's okay, I like some good friendly competition.

Also, I am bringing a pie that I made with my Granny yesterday. She taught me how to make her FAMOUS chocolate pies. I forgot to take a photo of the finished product, so I will wait until I can get such photo before blogging about that experience.

I will leave you with this little jewel:

I Cooked (Gasp) And They Liked It!

After weeks of thinking about cooking and then putting off cooking, I finally went to the store, got the ingredients for Aunt Molly's Taquito Casserole, and invited people over. I was really nervous, I'm pretty sure I'm in the early phases of shingles. I've never had that many people over at my house at the same time, with the exception of my Housewarming Party many many moons ago (back when I had a couch and that's it). So yesterday I cleaned the house:

Purchased a Chip N Dip bowl:

Set out fresh flowers to brighten up the place:

And got all of my ingredients out beforehand. I pre-opened all of my cans because I am TERRIBLE at using a can opener (also I'm terrible at opening envelopes. Different story, different day.)

Then I sat around and watched some episodes of Sex and the City and waited for the appropriate time to start cooking. Finally I got it all cooked and ready to go:

I also had a huge pot of Spanish Rice:

We all ate and it was fabulous. I was so excited! Dinner party success! Who knew?!? Melissa brought over Kristen's DELICIOUS chocolate chip pound cake and Megan brought over some super fudgy brownies that were wonderful!!!! I'd like to say thanks Aunt Molly for your recipe and your extra instructions to make this meal DE-licious! Here is the recipe for anyone who would like to venture to make Taquito Casserole:

18-25 count box of chicken Taquitos (use corn not flour type)

1-16 oz. jar of Ragu cheesy Alfredo Sauce

1-10 oz can of original Ro-tel tomatoes

1- can of green chilies

2-10 oz cans of mild Green Chile Enchilada Sauce

Shredded Colby & Monterrey Jack cheese as desired for garnish

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.. Layer a 9 X 13 pan with frozen Taquitos. Mix next ingredients together and pour over Taquitos to cover. Sprinkle as much cheese, as desired, on top and bake for 30-40 minutes. ENJOY!!!!

Why Don't Animals Attack When You Want Them To?

This past weekend, I participated in the Martin Family Annual Crawfish Boil. Instead of Tshirts this year, we got cups!!! (The picture is a little blurry, but it says "Who's Your Crawdaddy?) It was a great party that included many many plumerias (which I will have to post about another day), 350+ lbs of crawfish, 1 margarita machine, and 2 kegs of Bud Lite.

I met a member of the family that I had never met before. THE Aunt Molly from Amarillo. This lady was FANTASTIC! She made taquitos, biscuits and gravy, lasagna, pea salad (don't like pea salad, but I'd eat hers every day for the rest of my life) and I'm sure there were plenty of other delicacies to write home about that appeared before I got there and were eaten after I left. (Mrs. Pam - if you are reading this, I'm going to need to get these recipes. She should write a cookbook!)

I got to visit with some friends whom I haven't seen in what seems like ages, but it's really only been like a month. Melissa and I even had a slumber party. Except we are too old to actually stay up all night, so we just gossiped and then fell asleep around 10, like our parents do. We got to see Raymond, The Blairs, The Harts (who we see more often than the rest) and so on and so on. Behold:

(Pictured above is John, Melissa and Kristen.) As we were sitting at the table enjoying our crawfish, a hellion child came over with a live crawfish and thought it would be fun to semi-attack us with it. I was hoping for the crawfish to put up a fight:

He proceeded to hold it (as pictured above) and take it around and either throw it at people, or leave it on their shoulders. Not cool, kid. Not cool. At one point he approached me with it. I said "You need to go ahead and take that away from this table, right now" (and then stomped my foot.) How motherly of me! I said it in a mean tone, like if he didn't stop, I was going to report him to his parent. And he left. He wandered away to torture someone else. Kristen decided that he behaves this way because he has a much younger sibling and is acting out to regain the attention that he once had, but has now lost. She's going to be a great mom!

Speaking of future great moms, here's Jen (Eric's sis) and her new puppy Jax. He is an American Bulldog (pit) and Boxer mix. Many Michael Vick jokes later, Jennifer decided to wrap Jax's neck with Mardi Gras beads for decoration. (Jen, down the road when you wonder why he's so violent, report back to this photo.)


A fun weekend was had by all. Many thanks to Ron, Pam and the rest of the Martins for their hospitality!

Things I Look Forward To

My family doesn't really have reunions (there are like 4 of us, total). Or maybe they do, but they know that I would make up any excuse to get out of going to them so they just stopped inviting me. That is more than likely the case.

This weekend I'm traveling to Tyler, TX for the 4th (possibly 5th) Annual Crawfish Boil at the Martin's home. The Martins:

Aren't they a handsome bunch? If I had to choose a family other than my own to reunite with year, after year, I would definitely choose them. So, like I was saying, every year they have a crawfish boil at their home and relatives from all over come to visit. Not only do they include family, but they include all of their kids' friends as well. That's where I come in. They have a 'family-of-choice' reunion of sorts, if you will.

There is always so much going on. Captain Ron and Mrs. Pam have a karaoke machine that everyone loves to partake in (Jennifer and Shawn):

Also, they have a margarita machine and a pool (not that I am about to go parading around in my bathing suit in front of people), so the kids are occupied. Every year they make t-shirts for everyone to put on. 2007 they were yellow (see above). And last year they were blue:

I always get excited about new T-shirts! By the end of the night, they are sure to be covered in crawfish residue, jambalaya and spilt beer. Everyone ends up karaokeing until we are hoarse and then fall asleep all over their house.

The Martin's are definitely my family away from family and I appreciate them and their hospitality more than they will probably ever know. And their margaritas!

Telephone Book Trick

Last month I went to a wedding. As the groom is getting up to sing karaoke I take out my digital camera that I have had for four months. I turn it on and a message flashes on the screen: "Zoom Error." No big deal. I turn it off, turn it back on: "Zoom Error." I look at John in distress. So I take out the battery, memory card, blow into the empty compartments, try to pry the lens open, hit the menu button and thumb through all of the options. Nothing. "Zoom Error." I was pissed to the point of shedding a tear. John told me not to worry, we will get it fixed when we get back home and to have another beer. Fine. I didn't get to take ANY pictures at the wedding. Sigh.

So we get back home and we Google Fuji Finepix J150w and see what the deal is. We write off to a fix it website only to hear that we have to pay for a subscription blah blah. Yeah right. I give up. I started researching prices for new digital cameras. I was so frustrated and disappointed that this happened. I mean, I had the thing for 4 MONTHS! AND I kept it it's protective case the whole time.... whatever.

So last night I decide to give it one last try. I do the same Google search that I did before adding the words "Zoom Error." This time a different website comes up where people have written in their problems and other people write in and try to help. On my camera, and most Fuji cameras actually, this was a common problem.

One user suggested something that I thought was the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. He called it the "Telephone Book Trick." Meaning that you slam your camera (lens down) repeatedly against a telephone, or other hard object. No way am I going to do this. So I keep searching. One person recommended unscrewing things and basically disassembling the camera and getting a can of air and cleaning the whole thing out. Like I could figure out how to put it back together....

So I go back to the "Telephone Book Trick" that the first guy was talking about. It seemed that 30 or more people on this site eventually tried it as a last resort and it made their cameras work. I thought to self, well I'm going to have to end up buying a new camera anyway since this piece of crap is a piece of crap so I tried it.

First, I slammed it against the coffee table. No luck. Then I slammed it against the kitchen counter. No luck. Then I thought, well this is going to break it... so I slammed it against the ceramic tile. It seemed to want to turn on... I had a visual of something on the screen. So I slammed it on the floor again. A little bit more of a picture on the screen. Then slam, slam, slam, slam, slam against the palm of my hand and THE THING TURNED ON!!!!!!

I'm still in shock. Who knew?