If You Have To Cry, Go Outside

So, I started reading Kelly Cutrone's (of People's Revolution, i.e. Kell On Earth) new book that she wrote, basically as an autobiography, but more importantly, how to make your biggest dreams come true. One of the first off the bat things she mentioned is that she had a dream to go to NYC. She had no idea what she wanted to do, but she was going to get there. She tells a story in the first chapter of how everyone around her doubted her, said she was better off staying in Syracuse and getting married and having kids... basically all these things her parents always dreamed for her, but she wanted to live her own dreams... not those dreams of others.

This got me rethinking about where I am in my life. I have family who loves me, a great job, but I feel like I'm constantly being dragged down by the expectations of others. I feel as though I can't have the life experiences that I want to have, go where I want to go, etc., because I'm always having to put my goals and dreams aside in order to make others happy.

As selfish as it seems, when friends get married or become expectant mothers, I get a little sad, not because I'm jealous, but because I feel as though everyone's moving on with their lives and I'm still stuck in the zone of wanting to hang out and talk about our lives and gossip. If I don't do these same things, I will no longer have anything in common with my friends anymore. I don't really want to get married or have a baby just because others do, but I'm not really sure how to remedy this situation (on my part).

So, I thought, long and hard about what I've always wanted to do. I've always wanted to move away to a big city, much like Kelly, where I know no one, find a job, find an apartment and live life.. for a year, two years, forever....maybe in this place:

So, I put down the Kindle, picked up the laptop and sent out a bunch of resumes. For jobs in Seattle. I doubt anyone calls me. Lord knows, with a studio art degree, I'm hardly qualified to student teach, but I just want to see what happens....

Why There Have Been No Blogs Lately

I hate to be a drag, but I've been working so much lately that I haven't had time for much of anything, especially blogging :(

I've been working on a movie starring Nicholas Cage (which is sure to be as horrible as all of his other movies, post Leaving Las Vegas) and Amber Heard...and some loser from Twilight. There's a Satanic Orgy involved, so I don't really have much to say here other than, I'm sorry, film critics. But hey, the extras will look amazing, I'm sure... as they always do.

On top of that monstrosity, I've been working on a new television series for ABC called "The Gates":

Please set your Tivo's to ensure that I have work for years to come. There are twelve episodes to film and I'm currently working on #5... wish me luck, yall.

Anyway, it should be good. I'm excited about it, but it requires CONSTANT attention by me leaving me no time to do anything. So, I'm sorry that you haven't heard from me, but I promise to be better and more attentive to this blog.

Also, I'd like to note that I did paint my bedroom green, excuse me, Gypsy Teal, for all of you who were wondering if I would ever check that off of my New Year's Resolution list. Done and done.

Email of the Day

"I been wanted to act and model for a while but I don't know who to get in touch with..I live in Plain Dealing,La and it's a really small town and no one knows nothing..I was thinking about acting classes but they cost too much..I'm 15 years old going on 16 May 25.."

What exactly is the question, here?

I miss you all. I'll be back soon, I promise!