So, I started reading Kelly Cutrone's (of People's Revolution, i.e. Kell On Earth) new book that she wrote, basically as an autobiography, but more importantly, how to make your biggest dreams come true. One of the first off the bat things she mentioned is that she had a dream to go to NYC. She had no idea what she wanted to do, but she was going to get there. She tells a story in the first chapter of how everyone around her doubted her, said she was better off staying in Syracuse and getting married and having kids... basically all these things her parents always dreamed for her, but she wanted to live her own dreams... not those dreams of others.
This got me rethinking about where I am in my life. I have family who loves me, a great job, but I feel like I'm constantly being dragged down by the expectations of others. I feel as though I can't have the life experiences that I want to have, go where I want to go, etc., because I'm always having to put my goals and dreams aside in order to make others happy.
As selfish as it seems, when friends get married or become expectant mothers, I get a little sad, not because I'm jealous, but because I feel as though everyone's moving on with their lives and I'm still stuck in the zone of wanting to hang out and talk about our lives and gossip. If I don't do these same things, I will no longer have anything in common with my friends anymore. I don't really want to get married or have a baby just because others do, but I'm not really sure how to remedy this situation (on my part).
So, I thought, long and hard about what I've always wanted to do. I've always wanted to move away to a big city, much like Kelly, where I know no one, find a job, find an apartment and live life.. for a year, two years, forever....maybe in this place:
So, I put down the Kindle, picked up the laptop and sent out a bunch of resumes. For jobs in Seattle. I doubt anyone calls me. Lord knows, with a studio art degree, I'm hardly qualified to student teach, but I just want to see what happens....