You Girlfriend Forgot Cake

Last night, John and I, Jim and his wife Katie, John's other brother Chance (sorry, John Belushi only had one other brother so Chance will have to just go by Chance), his girlfriend Amanda and Nancy, Jim, John and Chance's mother all gathered for a birthday dinner at Shogun of Japan.

After our chef 'Ryan' begun cooking our dinner, it was discovered by him that we were there for John's birthday. Then he asked how old. John replied "27". 'Ryan' then made this:

Apparently 'Ryan' thought that John said 'Twenty-something' so that would be a 2 followed by a ? there on the smiley faced heart shaped pile of rice. Then 'Ryan' looks at me and asks John 'Your wife?' John replies 'No, she is my girlfriend.' Then 'Ryan' asked me where the cake was. I looked around and shrugged. Then Nancy decided to throw me under the bus by saying 'I guess I should have gotten the cake. Way to drop the ball, Kate.' So, 'Ryan' says 'Bad girlfriend. You girlfriend forgot cake.' Great, thanks 'Ryan.' He quickly followed up by saying 'No worries, I hook you up.' So after we had finished eating, out comes this fun little pineapple boat:

Followed by a man with a camera to take our photo. Along with the bill, he brings this:

Apparently they were out of the Happy Birthday photo holders, because John got a Happy Anniversary card with the words 'of your birth' added at the end. Classy, Shogun.

Mistakes (Part 2)

I warn you, readers, that never, under any circumstances, never, should you watch this show on Discovery Health:

I don't know why, but at some point last night between watching a Chelsea re-run (I guess she doesn't have new shows on Wednesdays) and the local news featuring Jim Belushi, I somehow and for whatever God-forsaken reason, turned the channel to Discovery Health. "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" was on and I figured, how could these IDIOTS not know that they were pregnant, I mean really.

Well, apparently, you can go full term and right on into labor without missing your 'Devil's Way Of Saying Hello', have no cravings, develop no bump, etc. etc. All of these women's only sign was fatigue. One had lower back pain. One thought she had OVARIAN CANCER (she was 57 and was tampering with in vitro, so she should have known she'd get pregnant, the idiot)!

Nothing sounds scarier to me than going along with your day and your water breaking, followed by crouching on your bedroom floor while your 9 year old cuts the umbilical cord. Seriously, people, do yourself a favor and DON'T WATCH! Unless, you really want a baby of your own and these would be success stories in your eyes.

I guess if you MUST watch, don't watch the show that immediately follows "Obese and Pregnant" (what is it? Baby week or something?), unless you want a really nice self esteem boost... then by all means, go ahead.

John's Big Adventure

As I am typing this, John is driving cross-country from Baton Rouge to San Diego behind the wheel of a U-Haul truck. No, he isn't moving away. He is helping his brother Jim with the moving of his belongings from House B (Baton Rouge) to House S (San Diego). His friend Mark went along with him to share in the driving duties. People ask me why I didn't go with him and I reply, "We have enough relationship tests already. I don't want to have to bury him somewhere along the Mexico border. I guess a shovel would be relatively easy to pack, though."

John doesn't get good service along I-10 (also known as the Christopher Columbus Transcontinental Highway says Wiki), so the way that I know that he is alive and well is through photos via email. Using my Scientific Method Reasoning Skills, I decide where I think each photo was taken. Every few hours or so, I get one of these:

I think this one was taken somewhere in Texas.Probably El Paso. He is intrigued by the mesas (Mesa is the Spanish word for 'Table'. Thanks Senorita Stinson!) he says. Who knows where it really is. Here is another:

I am usually not lucky enough to get captions, however this one was entitled "Sunset in Mexico." I didn't know he was actually going through Mexico, but perhaps that is it over there in the distance.

This one I received around 11ish last night so there's really no telling. Maybe near Las Cruces, New Mexico? He stayed in Tuscon last night, so maybe this was along Arizona somewhere. The mountains are pretty! I applaud him on getting the least amount of glass reflection as possible.

This one just in:

Nice use of bird crap in the composition! From an artsy point of view, of course. This must be somewhere between Tuscon and Yuma, Arizona. (I whipped out my Geography skills and decided that soon or probably already, they have re-routed from I-10 to I-8. I hope at least.) So they must have about six hours to go until they are finally in the Whale's Vagina!

Friends In High Places

Saturday evening, John's family and I loaded up the Durango and headed over to the Shreveport-Bossier Captain's game for a fun-filled evening. When we arrive, I discover that it's 'Free Bat Night', meaning that they were giving away fun-sized baseball bats. Here is what one looked like:

I thought it a little peculiar that there was a sticker planted on the end of said bats. So I took it upon myself to remove it in order to see what these Captains were trying to cover up:

(Thanks to Chance for being such a wonderful hand-model.) That right there, folks, is a Shreveport Sports logo!!!!! Apparently they had too many left over from last season and attempted a last minute quick fix in order to get rid of their overstocked supply. Scandal! You can't pull a fast one on me, Captains!

So we approach the skybox area where our seats are and it's as if I walk into my personal sporting event heaven. (For the record, I don't particularly like sporting events, and only go to get on John's good side.) In this personal heaven there are all you can eat hot dogs, hamburgers, peanuts, drinks (soft and not-so-soft), ice cream (Dip-N-Dots), french fries, and so on AND so on... Not to mention private bathrooms AND it is AIR CONDITIONED!!!!! I could do that type of sporting event every day of my life. This was my view of the game:

Pretty delightful, eh? The game wasn't so great, but John and I had a good time laughing at the grown men making smalltalk with Jim about how much they worship him and whatnot. Aren't we cute?:

Not a bad evening at all. I'd go back. Only if I could sit in Sporting Event Heaven again. It's nice being a VIP.

Getting to Know My Famous (Future) Brother In Law

John Belushi has a semi-famous younger brother that we will call... Jim Belushi. Here is a photo of the two (Jim has a black rectangle over his face, thus making him unrecognizable in order to protect John and I from being overwhelmed with new friends who are only after us for our connections. Seriously, people come out of the woodworks, just like the crazies who attend Prince concerts. No offense to those in Keithville):




Note the striking similarities between them. Well, John and I have been dating for well over a year and I STILL haven't gotten a lot of time to really get to know Jim or his wife (sorry to disappoint, ladies). So this evening, John has invited me to ride with him to the metropolis of Tyler to pick up Jim from the airport, followed by dinner. Then on Saturday, we will attend a sporting event with the entire family that will involve a childhood favorite of mine: The Shreveport Captains. They still have the ice cream in the hat-bowls, folks!



I'm a little too excited about the ice cream cup hats! Anyway, I've never been to a public event with Jim so I'm sure he will be bombarded with people who are kissing his ass and will ask him the same questions over and over again. For example:

How's San Diego? Is LT nice? When can I come visit? etc.

Annoying, right? I mean, MY fans don't ask those types of questions. (Jim handles it a lot more graciously and humbly (is that a word?) than I ever would, which says a lot about what a nice person he is.) Anyway, I did hear that John and Jim's mother was going to try to get us press box seats (since we are VIP and everything) so perhaps, the Keithvillians will stay in the cheap seat bleachers where they belong. Let's all just pray that is the case.