Seriously, again?

To the same girl with redneck neighbors from yesterday:

No really, please stop posting your status on Facebook. You're only embarrassing yourself.

Love, Kate (See newest post below)

"Ok I NEED SOME HELP baby goat 2 hours old mother want let it nurse what can I do mother goat does not have any milk Tryed joes formual it want take it tryed whole milk suager water real water. Need help"

It's Too Early for this Crap

A real status from a real person who I am 'friends' with on Facebook:

"Ok well let's see stayed awake all night long because of gun shoots, let's see can you guess which one DRIVE BY or REDNECKS with guns.

Well you if guessed REDNECKS with guns your RIGHT. We have been haveing coytoes kill goats and other live stock we also heard that there is a couger killing live stock in Keithville we...ll that's less than 5 miles from my house, I also read online that a couger travels up to 20 miles a night looking for a kill....... All I can say is my guns are loaded if it comes my way. Guess like the song you can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl! Lol lol lol ha ha ha ha! You just have to love a country girl!"


I don't even know what to say here other than I added the photo for effect...

I Hate To Be The One To Say It...

Well, actually, I don't because it's very true, but... I've decided that Juicy Couture is the Ed Hardy for Women's Wear. Evidence:



Can these trends stop yet? Are we past it? At what point did things like stripes and paisley go so wrong to the point where we had to incorporate skulls and innocent Schnauzers into our wardrobes? Let's just be honest with ourselves here, people!!!

Not Safe For Work (No Really)

I saw this yesterday on my way to BFE to go visit my parents.

Yes. This is a naked guy. Pants around ankles. Waddling along Mansfield Road in Stonewall. John and I sat in this turn around for 5 minutes assessing the situation, laughing and taking pictures before we pulled into Sue's. I told them that they should consider relocating. Immediately.

Halle It Is

Thanks for voting, Halle is the new name of the Berry.

Let's see, what's new? I went to the Revel this weekend. I bought a bunch of artwork as gifts and then a few things for my personal repertoire. (I made the mistake of wearing flip flops in the rain and therefore my feet turned out like so:

However, I got some of this:

So I'm okay with the dirty feet sacrifice. They (my feet) are all clean now, DON'T JUDGE ME. WE'VE ALL MADE THESE MISTAKES BEFORE!!!!!!!!!)

Um, I'm about to wrap up this movie that I've been working on so diligently (and I fervently apologize for being so blog-neglectful) so, hopefully I can get a couple of days off before I start working elsewhere. I think I'm going to pick up a part-time gig in an interiors place until the next show starts... now doesn't that sound fun?!

I have a wedding coming up next month for my friend LJ and am going to be required to get some sort of dressy situation for the rehearsal dinner. Being that I am a fair-skinned redhead, there are only a few colors that I can wear. So, that being said, this week's poll is going to be pretty lame, but what color dress should I attempt to find? Keep in mind that I usually stick to a 4 color wardrobe palette being black, brown, red and green, yet I am okay with overstepping this boundary and going in another shade of those families, with the exception of yellow, pink and lavender.

Self-Explanatory Blog Title:

Well, I've officially reached the zenith of my life. Britney was this weekend and man was it the best thing EVER. No really, ever.

Check out the red spandex pants. Love it!!! I peed my pants a little at this point...seriously.

The magic umbrella!

Crotch shot!

I could kick like that in high school. About 50 pounds ago.... I miss her already.

Portrait of a Britney Fan

So far this week I have been LOVING (with emphasized capital letters) my new job. Like, literally, everything about it, but most of all I LOVE my co-workers. I've only had the pleasure to work with three so far, but trust me that is plenty for me. David, Jessica and Charles are their names and between the 4 of us, we have plenty of interesting Hollywood stories to share. We sit with our desks facing each other and exchange witty banter all day about actors, directors, producers, famous people, each other, other co-workers, etc. It's the greatest laid back job ever.

Jessica even was nice enough to draw a portrait of me:

If you can't read the shirt, it says #1 Britney Fan (because I have expressed how pumped I am about the concert). I am greatful to Jessica for making me so skinny and also for including my new sunglasses.

So, I am not excited about the rest of the crew getting here soon, starting this afternoon. Large groups make me EXTREMELY nervous, especially when these 'higher ups' get really picky and specific in their requests. However, coming with the large group, comes the large gossip! I cannot wait for there to be a really good celebrity story to share. But don't you worry, readers, as soon as I get good scoop, I am definitely sharing. I will have to change names, or perhaps make them 'Blind Items' since I signed a Confidentiality Agreement, but seriously, you will know it first.

PS. A teaser Blind Item to conclude your Thursday: What hip hop star (with a current hit song) has requested a 'Phat Pad' on the outskirts of town for himself and his entourage of 15 to stay in while filming?

Things That I'm Uncertain About (Part 2)

At some point during the beginning of this month, Fox debuted a new show called "More to Love". The show is basically a fat people (or heavy-set if the word fat is offensive to you) version of 'The Bachelor'. If you would prefer a visual aid, here is the promo poster:

Also, consider this:

I am not sure if this show can get any more ridiculous. First of all, EVERY SINGLE ONE of the ladies complains about how they never got asked out, went to Prom, had a boyfriend, etc. etc. because of their weight. During these diary interviews, it never fails that someone starts crying. I guess they never thought that the reason that they've never been on a date is because they are so neurotic and annoying, instead of being big. But literally for everything, they use their size as an excuse on why they missed out in life. Sounds like they are using this excuse as a 'crutch', (to put it in a metaphor for you) to not partake in things that they didn't want to do. Now don't get me wrong, there are actually a few of them who are cool (like Lauren from Georgia who makes fun of how lame all the girls are), but generally for the most part, Good Lord!

The bachelor guy, Luke, gives me a strange vibe. Like a creepy youth pastor vibe (no offense Jeff), but seriously, he speaks as though he has been thoroughly trained in public speaking, which is a good thing to be trained in, but it comes off to me as just skeevy. He claims to like 'voluptuous' women, but just the way he looks them over (as if he is undressing them with his eyes only to douse them in A1 and eat them like a porterhouse) makes me super queasy.

The women, however, seem to eat it up! One has even gone so far as to tell him that she is in love with him. AND she told him so after being on the show for THREE episodes. So, after the THIRD DATE, she professed her love for him, TO HIS FACE. Why did they not give these women dating manuals?

Also get this, instead of giving out roses, they give out 'promise' rings. How high school is that? Seriously, so cheese ball. Each girl who makes it to the next round, Luke presents with a diamond ring and asks 'Will you wear this ring?' TACKY! THEN, before the next elimination, they all have to return the rings to Luke while he deliberates. Then they all whine about how naked their fingers feel without the rings and how they really really want to get it back because they are so in love with him because he is the first and/or only guy who has ever made them feel special and loved, blah blah.

I'm not trying to overwhelmingly hate on the show, but seriously, did they have to make it so cheesy? I think it's great to showcase women who aren't Size 2, but if these are the only ones that they can find, thanks, but no thanks. I know so many Size 10+ women (including myself) who have dated before, gone to prom, had boyfriends, etc. So why is it that Fox only chose these emotionally unstable sob stories for their show?

Finally, A Year Later

Last summer, Nancy and I were unemployed and laid around on the couch all day and prayed for people to call us to tell us there was work. One day we got really desperate so, we decided to be extras in the only movie that was being shot in town called "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell", which was based on the book of the same name by Tucker Max. Anyway, we decided to be extras in order to feed our wine habit and also to feel like we had a purpose in life, and to do something other than roll quarters and check out free movies from the library.

So, the trailer to IHTSBIH finally came out and here it is:

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell in HD

I know that a few of you agreed to be extras during that shoot as well (cough, Sass), so you may be interested in seeing if you are in it. I am a little disappointed because it looks A LOT like The Hangover, but hopefully it is funnier. I also hope that by the time that IHTSBIH is released that people will have forgotten about The Hangover and will go see it anyway and make it a Shreveport success! Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention that some of the scenes were filmed in the COB!!! Yay for Cobblestone making it on the Hollywood Map! Anyway, Happy Wednesday everyone and try not to be offended by some of the racial jokes.

Journey... and More

Last night, against my proper judgement (regarding my summer cold), I went with Mark and Meredith to Tacomania followed by the Journey/Night Ranger concert. I'm pretty sure that I saw the entire city of Shreveport either at Tacomania or at the concert and of course, I was sick and talking with a snot filled nose and trying not to breathe too heavily on anyone.

We got to the concert a little late and jumped in the middle of Night Ranger, who, seriously, were awful, with the one exception of, of course, 'Sister Christian':

Going to the CenturyTel Center for a concert is pretty much asking the City of Bossier to put on their trashiest outfit and come out to play. I have seen a lot over the years of concerts at the CTC, but this one is a definite flashback to a slutty girl that I went to high school, with who spent a lot of her time at Interport (if you grew up in the 71118, you know about Interport) AND youth group:

So, after the intermission and Journey came out, I was pretty sure that I would know all the songs.

Wrong. I seemed to know only about 5-6 of them... which was okay, but when you are praying for the set to be over so you can go home and Neti -Pot, it just seemed to go on and on and on...until they got to 'Open Arms' and everyone got out their lighters/cell phones. Meredith cleverly, managed to combine the two:

By the way. Meredith is my new friend. She is fabulous and I absolutely love her because I feel as though we are on the same page in our opinions as far as trashiness, tackiness, and Bossier. Mark, don't be jealous. So, here is our group pic from the concert:

The guy on the end is Jim. He is one of Meredith's friends who curiously purchased concert merchandise for a female who is NOT his girlfriend. I intend for you to get to the bottom of this, Meredith.

So, on the way back to Mark's to watch Big Brother, we passed by this little sight on Kings Highway:

(If you can't tell, it is a large truck transporting a couch with two humans enjoying the ride.) At least the couch was strapped in, I guess. Stay classy Shreveport... we don't want you to stoop to the lows of Bossier, or God forbid, Keithville.

Ways That You Should NOT Run Your Business

Yesterday afternoon, before I headed to wine night, I stopped my liquor store of choice to pick up my very favorite $8.99 Penfolds' Rawson's Retreat Chardonnay. I ALWAYS go to the Thrifty on Youree near LSUS because the people there know me. They never stop me for ID, and I know where everything is so I can always just go straight to the R.R. and be on my way.

So, like I was saying, I stopped in yesterday and the same guy is working that is always working. He has a large variety of tattoos all over himself. He has dyed black (sometimes aqua) hair that is sometimes shaped into a mohawk or sometimes just hanging all in his face. If you have ever been in there, you know the guy that I'm talking about. So, I'm waiting patiently in like with the R.R., waiting on the black lady in front of me to finally lose with her scratch off lotto tickets, after playing them one by one then purchasing more tickets with the winnings, WHILE IN LINE!!! Seriously, move along lady so I can leave already. I try to spend as little time as possible in liquor stores, just because they are pretty skeevy places. Yet, are very similar to town halls, what with the bills that can be paid there, and whatnot.

Once it's finally my turn to check out, the mohawk guy makes me feel a little uneasy. Like he looks at me as if he is going to ask me a really embarrassing question in front of everyone there. I usually try to say as little as possible to avoid provoking him. So, right before he asks me "Will that be all?", he proceeds to pick up a Church's chicken leg, eat the entire contents of the leg in one swift swoop, sucking all remnants off of the bone before throwing it away. Then, he slurps up all remaining grease from his fingers, wipes his hand on his pants, picks up my bottle of wine, scans it, puts it in a bag, takes my debit card, hands me my receipt and sends me on my way. I WAS REPULSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My proof of this true story:

I have never been more grossed out in my life. Thinking about it even now makes me want to vomit. WHO EATS FRIED CHICKEN WHILE CHECKING OUT CUSTOMERS, HANDLING THEIR MERCHANDISE AND MONEY?? I realize that you work at Thrifty Liquor, but still. You are on Youree Drive, man! Have some self respect! After a few glasses last night, I finally got over it but I just wanted you all to know ways to NOT behave if you work in retail. That's what breakrooms are for!!! And chicken strips!!!!

Flashback Tuesday

Happy Flashback Tuesday everyone! Since it is so beautiful outside in the Shreve with all the clouds and downpours and threats of tornadoes and everything, I figured that lots of people would be inside today on the Internet wishing they could go outside and play. Since I strive to make the readers of this little ditty happy on a daily basis, I figured that I would give you lots to look at. Y'all can thank me later.

Since "Yearbook Yourself" is back in action, my darling friend Rachel Schillage has decided to include me in her album. This is what she came up with:

I'm so glad she gave me one with little glasses.

My makeup looks hot!

Alright, then. That was fun. On to the real flashback of Flashback Tuesday. 10 years ago (next summer) the youth group that I grew up with decided to take it's Senior class on a 'Senior Trip'. The fair way to decide where we went was to have everyone vote, right? Okay, so this is what happened. Everyone who had EVER been to church with us showed up on voting day. No really EVERYONE. There were three options of where we could go:

1. Somewhere in the Caribbean, possibly Jamaica, or maybe Cancun.

2. New York City

3. Walt Disney World

Okay, so the members of Sunday School who actually came all the time and I formed an alliance. I was ADAMANT about not going to Disney World. I mean, come on. It is our Senior Trip. Let's go somewhere awesome. So, I talked all of the regulars into voting for New York. Once the votes were in, all of the idiots who NEVER EVEN CAME TO SUNDAY SCHOOL, all outvoted us by like 2 to go to freaking Disney World. And then who were the people who actually went on the trip? None of those jerks who voted for it. NOT ONE OF THEM!!!!! So of course, I had a bad attitude about it the whole time, and still do, but I'm not bitter or anything. Anyway, here is a photo of Mark and myself at WDW wearing some leis or something like we wished we were on a beach. Or in Little Hawaii in New York:

Man, I was a dish! Also, this is before Mark had his under bite fixed. He looks much different now.

That other girl I never saw again after that trip (so I halfway cropped her face out, JUST IN CASE some of you might recognize her), except on John's birthday this year when she was seated at the hibachi table one over from us and was loudly proclaiming how she planned on forcing her boyfriend to marry her after 5 years. Yeah, let us know how that works out for you, Rachel.

Since I promised you a lot to look at, I will deliver on that one. There is another blog which I adore. www.cakewrecks.com The web address should pretty much be self-explanatory for you, so go look at it and enjoy your Flashback Tuesday!

Things We Can All (Hopefully) Agree On

After the last post, I feel that perhaps I stepped on a few toes. (Hopefully you will get to keep your toenails though, unlike the time that I wore a new pair of shoes for 12 hours one night. Consequently, the next day I woke up and my big toenails were a light blueish color. The next month they were officially dead and I had to remove them from the nail beds myself. Sorry for that if you have a weak stomach.) So, I figured that I would touch upon a lighter subject for Friday, in preparation for the weekend, you know. Everyone likes Fun Fridays, right?

So, The Cob has a new resident. Some would call him 'The Ice Cream Man', but I would call him the "Skeevy Child Predator????" (The question marks are crucial):

I took this photo as we were in route, so that shiny stuff is the reflection from John's window. Anyway, this guy drives slowly up and down the streets of the Cob with his creepy tinker-toy type music blaring in hopes to lure some children to his minivan. This guy doesn't even have a truck!!! It is a MINIVAN!!! With the word CANDY emblazoned on the side. You can't get creepier than that. I do have to give him props that he has Bomb Sticks, Pink Panthers, Choco Tacos, Push Pops, and my personal favorite Screw Balls (the cone shaped cup with the bubble gum ball in the bottom).

Anyway, I can't decide if I should be creeped out, or be really excited. Surely a child predator wouldn't be so blatantly obvious, right? Then again, what am I worried about? I don't have kids. Hmmm. I feel so torn. Like Natalie Imbruglia. Or Creed.

New Poll of the Week!

Last week's poll closed with 9 of you saying that you keep cool in the summer by Never Leaving Pool.

Good choice, although I was disappointed to hear how few of you don't wear clothes. Next time, I suppose.

Well this week, the poll is going to discuss the current trends that are taking over our nation. Which one of these is the most annoying trend that you absolutely cannot stand?

A. The success of artists like Taylor Swift and the Jonas Brothers (who, Thank the Lord are finally starting to dwindle with their fame):

B. Fashion trends such as Ed Hardy and Affliction:

C. Mommy Blogs (self explanatory. No one cares about your child's first poo):

D. Stick Portrait Window Clings (I feel as though I've already been over this one):

E. Mounting your television over your mantle (TACKY. Your living room says a lot about you and I feel that your focal point should never be a 52 inch flatscreen. Save it for your man room.):

F. Twitter (although I have one and was recently attacked for saying that I don't think breastfeeding in public is appropriate. That is why they make breast pumps and bottles. No one wants to see your areolas while they are eating a pepperoni pizza.):

Vote, will you, and have a wonderful Thursday!!!

Reasons That Z Gallerie is the Slutty Sister of Pottery Barn

Tuesday evening, Mark and I decided to have a get together to watch the best show on television (Big Brother 11). I got there pretty early so that we could order pizza and talk about people that we don't like with plenty of time to spare before the show came on. I am one who has to have absolutely NO interruptions so that I can catch every rude comment and fight with no background noise.

When I arrived, we immediately went to the kitchen to fix a beverage. I decide on what I want and Mark says 'WAIT!!!!!!! PUT IT DOWN!!!!!!' before I took a sip. I stopped because I was very nervous as to if there was a bug on my face or about to dive into my glass. But then he reaches in the freezer and fumbles with something before placing this atop my glass:

It is a miniature Titanic-shaped ice cube, with matching iceberg. HAHAHAHA. I laughed so hard!!! So, I took a better photo of the ship:

So finally after I was done gawking at the ship, I did something really tacky and sank it:

My sincerest apologies go out to Rose and Jack, that they had to relive that all over again, but I was thirsty. I asked Mark where he purchased the Titanic and Iceberg ice trays and he told me Z Gallerie. Then he said that they regard themselves the "Slutty Sister to Pottery Barn" and I completely agree. I prefer Z Gallerie's products because they are extremely interesting to me, whereas Pottery Barn is very cookie cutter and straight laced (FYI I am not hating on PB). I wonder what that says about me. (Go ahead and add your slutty comments. I won't be mad.)

I almost forgot to include another of Mark's awesome products!!! He has these coasters that when you set your glass atop them, they light up and then change colors until your glass is empty.
I think this is a GREAT idea for a gift, especially if you are having people over. You immediately know when their drink is empty because the coasters go back to basic white and no fun lights. I forgot to ask him where he got these, but if you really want to know, I can find out for you.

Trends That Are Ridiculous

Along with things such as Affliction T's, Ed Hardy, Taylor Swift, and Twitter (although I do have one), I thought that I would add another trend to the list of things that have gotten EXTREMELY out of hand:

I mean honestly, people. I understand having things like 'family pride' or whatever, but good Lord... STOP ALREADY with your personalized window clings! Trust me, no one cares about your stick family portrait. Leave it for your scrapbook, not for your bumper. You look like an ass.

Seven Albums That Changed My Life (This Might Get Long)

Since yesterday at approximately 11AM, Pandora has decided that I have reached my 40 hour a month free listening capacity, which is SO LAME!!! I could listen to that in one week at work. How do they expect me to get by without them for three working weeks a month? I had to come up with some sort of strategy. I am not an Ituneser because I don't really know how to work my IPOD that well and also, I think that I would spend a ton of money on really bad music that I would regret later. So if I want to listen to something really specific, I either go to http://www.songza.com/ or I save up my dollars and go purchase the album. And that leads me to the more important part of this post.

Since Pandora is now an ass, I now choose a CD from my car, burn it to my work computer and listen to it on repeat all day. I have no other choice, I suppose. I'm cheap like that. Therefore, I've decided to discuss the albums that have meant the most to me throughout my life. These albums have helped me through either a breakup, college, a trip to France, or a road trip to Little Rock by myself. These albums are not necessarily from my favorite artists or bands, but they have a special place in my heart (and CD case) for one reason or another. So here we go in no particular order... actually, I think I'll do chronological order, just for my own organizational sake...

#1: Alanis Morrisette and "Jagged Little Pill"

I'm not sure of any person within 3 +/- years of my age that hasn't listened to this album. So, really it speaks for itself. Also, there is a 'hidden track' at the very end that I got super excited about the first time I heard it. I would borrow this album from Jennifer Herron VERY frequently in the 8th grade. I would keep it longer than she liked by saying 'Oh, I forgot it at home, I'll bring it to you tomorrow.' I'm sorry Jennifer, but I was lying. I eventually gave it back, though. This album made me realize that there is more to music than country. For that, I will be forever indebted to you, Alanis.

#2: Dido and "No Angel"

I guess we will skip directly past high school because I don't remember a single album that I owned and listened religiously to, so teleport yourselves mentally to my college days. In my very first drawing class that I took, we would listen to music while we drew (not nudes, this time). This album was one of my teacher's favorites. I never listened to music like Dido's (with the exception of Enya on the radio, which was horrible) and found that I really liked it. I liked this album so much that I raved about it to a boy who I really, really liked at the time. He went off and surprised me by giving it to me for my birthday (what a sweetheart) and I got to listen to it while driving home in the rain for the weekend. So there is the secret reason why there is a special place for Dido in my heart....

#3: Nelly Furtado and "Folklore"

These next two albums are a tie. When I lived in Paris for that glorious month in 2004, I had two roommates that were super interesting. They had brilliant senses of humor and I NEVER would have placed myself rooming with them, but obviously the room assignment person did. I remember being a little upset about it at first, but after I got adjusted to the situation (and was introduced to wine and started loosening up) it turned out that I got to know them and really liked them a lot. Rebecca, the really artsy one, would wake Catherine and I up every morning with one of three albums. "Folklore", "I Am Sam", or "Come Away With Me" by Norah Jones. Now, I am not one to want to wake up, but when Nelly's "One Trick Pony" would start up, I would jump out of bed and look forward to the day like I hadn't even been asleep.

I didn't really care for Nelly before (the 'I'm Like a Bird' song), however, this album was less pop and more of a rock sound with an acoustic approach. This album wasn't considered commercially successful, but I like it better than her other two. It seems to me as though she put a lot more of herself into it, instead of being a music industry puppet.

#4: "I Am Sam" Soundtrack

This is the other of Rebecca's morning wake up albums that I love. I'll be perfectly honest with you here. I did not grow up listening to the Beatles. My parents didn't listen to them (at least while I was around) and I only knew that they were a huge successful 60's band. So, when I listened to 'I Am Sam' and I heard all of the artists (The Wallflowers, Sarah Machlachlan, Ben Harper, Ben Folds, The Black Crowes, Eddie Vedder, Rufus Wainwright, etc.) singing these songs, I had no idea that they were ALL Beatles songs. I just thought that these artists were doing a great covers album. Well, after examining the CD case, I realized what was really going on here. Anyway, I love the album. It is comforting. Like going home. Or eating a doughnut. (This album has gone missing from my collection, so if you have it, could you please give it back. Thanks.)

#5: Better Than Ezra and "Closer"

I don't know when this album was originally released, but in 2006, I attended my very first Better Than Ezra concert. Sure, I knew a couple of their songs ("Desperately Wanting", "Good", etc.) but wasn't sure what to expect from a full-blown show. My friend Jamie (who is an intense BTE fan) said, "Don't worry about it, it will be fun and you will know some of the songs." So, I went. I LOVED THEM. Absolutely LOVED them. I might have known like 5 songs total, but after the concert I went out and purchased this album via Ebay because I couldn't find it in stores anywhere. After it arrived in my mailbox, I drove around and listened to the album. My absolute favorite song is "Get You In." I like the first line in the song the best: "I sit and watch your flowers wilting in the kitchen. I felt like I was one of them gasping for air." How many times have we felt like that because of other people? Love this album!!!

#5: Ryan Adams and "Demolition"

During that same year when I found BTE, I also found Ryan Adams. (Side rant: If you don't know who Ryan Adams is (NOT BRYAN ADAMS), I urge you to purchase one of his albums. It doesn't matter which one, they are all amazing. This is your chance to learn what good music is and should be.) When my dear friend Eric Covington introduced me to Ryan, my music taste (and life) changed drastically. Thank you Eric, I will always be indebted to you as far as my hearing goes.

So, anyway, the summer of 2006 was really great, and yet at the same time really hard for me for many undisclosed reasons. I decided to take some vacation days and drove to Arkansas solo to visit some friends. While there, my favorite college friend Libby and I visited the local Best Buy. When I got there, I decided to go and see which Ryan Adams albums they had. They had 'Demolition' and 'Gold.' If I had the money, I would have bought both but decided on a coin flip to purchase 'Demolition.' On the drive back, I decided to listen. Wow. Amazing. I'm not sure what all Ryan has gone through in his life to make his music so powerful, but I applaud him and at the same time sympathize with him (even though he decided to marry that tramp, Mandy Moore) because he must have gone through some bad, bad times. My favorite track on this album is "Dear Chicago." If you are an Ituneser, spend 99 cents wisely and purchase it. I guarantee that you will relate.

#7 and Finally: Ray Lamontagne "Till The Sun Turns Black"

I would again, like to thank Eric Covington (who has amazing music taste) for gifting me with Ray Lamontagne's first full-length release "Trouble." I loved that album so much that I was given his sophomore release, "Till The Sun Turns Black" as a birthday gift the following year. This is actually the album of the day that I happened to grab from my car. So, it's currently playing on repeat. Ray's music is probably the most soothing music that I have ever listened to (with the exception of Damien Rice). He has a soft-spoken voice that can lull me into any sort of calm state. I love to play this album when getting ready in the mornings. Ray's music makes me want to behave. And to also be a better person. I can't say that about many things these days.

There you have it readers, I apologize for the length, but hope that the 5 minutes that you took to read my faves, has inspired you to share yours as well!

The Epitome of Class (Part 2)

Back whenever I posted the photo of the black lady with her ultrasound on her t-shirt, I figured, hey, pregnancy can't get less classy than that. Well, I have officially decided to retract that statement.

Last weekend, John and I went over the bridge to Bossier (which I recommend NEVER doing unless you have some sort of extremely specific reason to go such as, fish tacos or visiting a friend). So after we ate fish tacos (I'm getting hungry just thinking about them), John decided that he wanted to go to Hat World or Lids or whatever that place is called in Pierre Bossier Mall.

Side Note: I've decided that malls are places where one should never have to go unless it contains at best ALL or at least one of these three stores:

1. Pottery Barn
2. Anthropologie

3. Williams Sonoma

Honorable Mention: Auntie Anne's Pretzels

Malls have become a collection of what I like to call 'undesirable' stores. They are full of places like Champs, Pacific Sunwear, Gadzooks or The Arabian Gold Herringbone Factory. I can't deal with all of that. I don't want to be bombarded by the guy with the Dead Sea Minerals when I'm trying to get some new underwear from Victoria's Secret, ok?!?

So anyway, off we went to Lids and then John decides that he wants to walk around. Bad decision. There was absolutely NO store in this mall that was even semi-appealing. I take that back. I do like Borders. They have books, which are safe and not trashy. As we were walking past and 'fake-phone calling' to avoid the Proactiv salesman, I spot something out of the corner of my eye: Spencer's.

Okay, I admit. This was secretly one of my favorite places to look during the South Park Mall phase in high school. I always felt guilty going in Spencer's because of all of the trashy stuff they have that I shouldn't be seeing as an upstanding citizen. Like really TRASHY. I'm pretty sure that I learned about sex at Spencer's and hadn't been back since. So, I said, 'Why Not?' I'm here, so I might as well go in. I spotted this immediately after I perused the Sarah Palin: VPILF magnets:

I thought: "Oh, cool! T-shirts." Then I inch slightly closer to reveal Spencer's own line of Maternity T-shirts. Yes, that's right. MATERNITY T-shirts:

Yes, honey. Maybe now he WILL marry you. I immediately did an about face and walked out. This is why I don't go to malls.

Things Every Girl Should Have

Back around 2005 when I first discovered the joy that is Ebay, I had my mind set upon purchasing this:

Yes, a hot pink Swiss Army Knife! Included in the set up is a pair of scissors, tweezers, a toothpick (ew), a nail file and a little bitty knife. I was so excited when I found out that they actually made pink ones, so I snatched it right up by being an aggressive bidder. Actually, now that I think about it, there was a "Buy It Now" option. I also got one for my sister in law, Annie, that was green (Isn't that nice of me?), but I don't think she realizes the awesomeness that she has been blessed with, unlike myself.

Fast forward a few years please to 2007. So, I am at the Dillards at St. Vincent Mall, looking desperately for a black dress for a bachelorette evening (it may have been for something else, but I think that's what it was). So, I look around the dress section and find two or three that I decide that I want to try on and head to the dressing room.

I try on the first dress and I thought, eh? Next... eh? So the last dress that I tried on was adorable. It fit slightly snugly, but it was super cute. Sold! So, I go to get out of it and something similar to this happened:

The damned thing was stuck. I was freaking stuck in this dress!!!!!! OMG What am I going to do? I am not going to call the lady to come get me out of it. I start sweating. A LOT (I'm pretty sure they keep it hot in those dressing rooms on purpose). Panic sets in. I decide that I should sit down, dress halfway over head, one arm out, one arm in. And think.

"Okay Kate. How are you going to get out of this one? It was so easy to get in that it HAS to come off right? RIGHT?? Dang it, this was such a cute dress too. I'm not going to have this moment happen to me again so I guess I shouldn't get it. How did the designer expect people like me, who are extremely intelligent, to get out of this? (Light bulb goes on!)"

So, what do I do, you ask? I reach into my purse and pull out my hot pink Swiss Army knife that has been with me through thick and thin all of those years. And what do I do with it? That's right. I cut myself out of the dress. With the tiny little scissors. Snip snip snip, right up the side. Once the dress was safely off and I was breathing normally again, I discovered a hidden zipper. Idiot! So, I hung it up on the hanger and nonchalantly strolled out of there to the safety of my car. And had a good laugh.

Moral of the story? ALWAYS have reinforcements!

El Chico and More

So this weekend we had John's Birthday Extravaganza Part Deux beginning with a dinner at his favorite Mexican restaurant in Shreveport: El Chico. There was an amazing turnout of friends that showed up... about twenty... and it ended up being a good time.

When we left The Boy, (after John decided to take his sombrero with him) we headed over to sing some karaoke. On the way over, these two got engaged!!!! Congratulations Joey and Megan Hynes!!! So exciting!

After John and Rex finished singing "The American Trilogy" Mrs. Scoggin showed up.

Shortly after we visited with Jamie, we headed home, but not before snapping a photo with the Sensational Six (Carie and Trav were missing from the Elite 8, so we had to do with the six).


Saturday, John took me to the amazing Don Juanz, famous for their Fresh Mex menu. The fish tacos sound disgusting but are anything but that. If you live in the Shreveport/Bossier Metroplex and haven't tried Don Juanz, I suggest you do. You will never look at Mexican food the same. http://www.donjuanz.com/

Saturday evening, John wanted to watch the UFC fight. So he and his coaching buddies got together to watch it, while their pregnant wives and myself (neither preg or a wife) sat downstairs and visited. Well, let me just say that I heard enough in a few hours about pushing a baby out of a V, episiotomies, enemas, lamaze class, baby bedding, breast pumping, nipple cream, pediatricians, gas, cravings, morning sickness, strollers, cribs, due dates, NICU's, hospitals, changing rooms, baby monitors, registering, and rice cereal to do me for my entire life. No thank you, babies.

So that's the weekend recap. (Oh! And we saw Bruno. Not as funny as Borat. So, don't waste your time or money.) Big Brother last night was eh. I'm ready for it to get ugly!