Disappointment

I know you are all going to be shocked by this, but the newest show that I had been watching (in my spare time) was "Megan Wants A Millionaire". I am certain that the thought of watching this show yourselves is revolting since it is the most Keithville thing on television. Let me just say that you would be correct in your assumptions:

There is so much ridiculousness going on in this show that I can't help but watch. It is a train wreck of tackiness that I had to get on board for. The contestants claim to be millionaires and all of them basically say that they are on the lookout for a 'trophy wife' - enter Megan... who, to me, is absolutely NOT the definition of 'trophy wife', but since this IS VH1 that we are watching, (they who think that there is a need for shows such as "A Real Chance of Love 2" and "Rock of Love Bus", where Megan originally hailed from), I suppose that she will have to do.

So these contestants all basically try to out-spend each other via gifts for Megan. They had a pseudo-Valentine's Day a few episodes ago where one millionaire gave her a strip tease as a gift. Another wrote her a song called 'Sex Mode' (his credit was later declined). ?????? is really all that I know to say.

This contestant, named Ryan, flat out on the first episode told Megan that he basically needs to get married for a green card and that in exchange, he wouldn't make her sign a pre-nup... tempting, huh? Meet Ryan:

The downside to this story is that poor Ryan here is in custody for being accused of murdering his ex wife and mutilating her body. So... unfortunately for me, 'Megan' has been cancelled. To be fair and unfair all at the same time, Ryan did give off a creeper vibe with the whole green card request and whatnot. According to the press releases from VH1, Ryan ended up making it to the finals, but unfortunately, we may NEVER know who won Megan's heart. But I have a sneaking suspicion that there will be a 'Megan Wants A Millionaire 2.'

Things That I'm Uncertain About (Part 2)

At some point during the beginning of this month, Fox debuted a new show called "More to Love". The show is basically a fat people (or heavy-set if the word fat is offensive to you) version of 'The Bachelor'. If you would prefer a visual aid, here is the promo poster:

Also, consider this:

I am not sure if this show can get any more ridiculous. First of all, EVERY SINGLE ONE of the ladies complains about how they never got asked out, went to Prom, had a boyfriend, etc. etc. because of their weight. During these diary interviews, it never fails that someone starts crying. I guess they never thought that the reason that they've never been on a date is because they are so neurotic and annoying, instead of being big. But literally for everything, they use their size as an excuse on why they missed out in life. Sounds like they are using this excuse as a 'crutch', (to put it in a metaphor for you) to not partake in things that they didn't want to do. Now don't get me wrong, there are actually a few of them who are cool (like Lauren from Georgia who makes fun of how lame all the girls are), but generally for the most part, Good Lord!

The bachelor guy, Luke, gives me a strange vibe. Like a creepy youth pastor vibe (no offense Jeff), but seriously, he speaks as though he has been thoroughly trained in public speaking, which is a good thing to be trained in, but it comes off to me as just skeevy. He claims to like 'voluptuous' women, but just the way he looks them over (as if he is undressing them with his eyes only to douse them in A1 and eat them like a porterhouse) makes me super queasy.

The women, however, seem to eat it up! One has even gone so far as to tell him that she is in love with him. AND she told him so after being on the show for THREE episodes. So, after the THIRD DATE, she professed her love for him, TO HIS FACE. Why did they not give these women dating manuals?

Also get this, instead of giving out roses, they give out 'promise' rings. How high school is that? Seriously, so cheese ball. Each girl who makes it to the next round, Luke presents with a diamond ring and asks 'Will you wear this ring?' TACKY! THEN, before the next elimination, they all have to return the rings to Luke while he deliberates. Then they all whine about how naked their fingers feel without the rings and how they really really want to get it back because they are so in love with him because he is the first and/or only guy who has ever made them feel special and loved, blah blah.

I'm not trying to overwhelmingly hate on the show, but seriously, did they have to make it so cheesy? I think it's great to showcase women who aren't Size 2, but if these are the only ones that they can find, thanks, but no thanks. I know so many Size 10+ women (including myself) who have dated before, gone to prom, had boyfriends, etc. So why is it that Fox only chose these emotionally unstable sob stories for their show?

Of All The Times To Get Sick

Well, I went to Ruston on Saturday and hung out and had the best time with the girls, however, I woke up Sunday morning with a flaming throat, stopped up right nostril and stopped up right ear. BOOOO! Normally I wouldn't give a crap, but I have a VERY IMPORTANT job interview tomorrow at 12:30PM and have got to be at 100%. I brought back a bucket of peaches for Sue, but they have so much Vitamin C that I've been devouring them like cough drops. So, for those of you who are the praying kind, pray that the peaches, and this works:

This is a Neti Pot. You pour a nasal rinse packet into the pot, fill it up with warm water, then point in one nostril, while hanging your head over the sink, and the saline solution drains out the other nostril. Some people get squeamish at the thought, but if you are desperate enough (like me), you will do anything to feel better. It honestly works. Like a sinus massage or something.

So anyway, the weekend was super fun. I need to get this job. I won't say what I am interviewing for because it involves a Confidentiality Agreement. But it's really good. MUST FEEL BETTER!!!!

Ways That You Should NOT Run Your Business

Yesterday afternoon, before I headed to wine night, I stopped my liquor store of choice to pick up my very favorite $8.99 Penfolds' Rawson's Retreat Chardonnay. I ALWAYS go to the Thrifty on Youree near LSUS because the people there know me. They never stop me for ID, and I know where everything is so I can always just go straight to the R.R. and be on my way.

So, like I was saying, I stopped in yesterday and the same guy is working that is always working. He has a large variety of tattoos all over himself. He has dyed black (sometimes aqua) hair that is sometimes shaped into a mohawk or sometimes just hanging all in his face. If you have ever been in there, you know the guy that I'm talking about. So, I'm waiting patiently in like with the R.R., waiting on the black lady in front of me to finally lose with her scratch off lotto tickets, after playing them one by one then purchasing more tickets with the winnings, WHILE IN LINE!!! Seriously, move along lady so I can leave already. I try to spend as little time as possible in liquor stores, just because they are pretty skeevy places. Yet, are very similar to town halls, what with the bills that can be paid there, and whatnot.

Once it's finally my turn to check out, the mohawk guy makes me feel a little uneasy. Like he looks at me as if he is going to ask me a really embarrassing question in front of everyone there. I usually try to say as little as possible to avoid provoking him. So, right before he asks me "Will that be all?", he proceeds to pick up a Church's chicken leg, eat the entire contents of the leg in one swift swoop, sucking all remnants off of the bone before throwing it away. Then, he slurps up all remaining grease from his fingers, wipes his hand on his pants, picks up my bottle of wine, scans it, puts it in a bag, takes my debit card, hands me my receipt and sends me on my way. I WAS REPULSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My proof of this true story:

I have never been more grossed out in my life. Thinking about it even now makes me want to vomit. WHO EATS FRIED CHICKEN WHILE CHECKING OUT CUSTOMERS, HANDLING THEIR MERCHANDISE AND MONEY?? I realize that you work at Thrifty Liquor, but still. You are on Youree Drive, man! Have some self respect! After a few glasses last night, I finally got over it but I just wanted you all to know ways to NOT behave if you work in retail. That's what breakrooms are for!!! And chicken strips!!!!

Flashback Tuesday

Happy Flashback Tuesday everyone! Since it is so beautiful outside in the Shreve with all the clouds and downpours and threats of tornadoes and everything, I figured that lots of people would be inside today on the Internet wishing they could go outside and play. Since I strive to make the readers of this little ditty happy on a daily basis, I figured that I would give you lots to look at. Y'all can thank me later.

Since "Yearbook Yourself" is back in action, my darling friend Rachel Schillage has decided to include me in her album. This is what she came up with:

I'm so glad she gave me one with little glasses.

My makeup looks hot!

Alright, then. That was fun. On to the real flashback of Flashback Tuesday. 10 years ago (next summer) the youth group that I grew up with decided to take it's Senior class on a 'Senior Trip'. The fair way to decide where we went was to have everyone vote, right? Okay, so this is what happened. Everyone who had EVER been to church with us showed up on voting day. No really EVERYONE. There were three options of where we could go:

1. Somewhere in the Caribbean, possibly Jamaica, or maybe Cancun.

2. New York City

3. Walt Disney World

Okay, so the members of Sunday School who actually came all the time and I formed an alliance. I was ADAMANT about not going to Disney World. I mean, come on. It is our Senior Trip. Let's go somewhere awesome. So, I talked all of the regulars into voting for New York. Once the votes were in, all of the idiots who NEVER EVEN CAME TO SUNDAY SCHOOL, all outvoted us by like 2 to go to freaking Disney World. And then who were the people who actually went on the trip? None of those jerks who voted for it. NOT ONE OF THEM!!!!! So of course, I had a bad attitude about it the whole time, and still do, but I'm not bitter or anything. Anyway, here is a photo of Mark and myself at WDW wearing some leis or something like we wished we were on a beach. Or in Little Hawaii in New York:

Man, I was a dish! Also, this is before Mark had his under bite fixed. He looks much different now.

That other girl I never saw again after that trip (so I halfway cropped her face out, JUST IN CASE some of you might recognize her), except on John's birthday this year when she was seated at the hibachi table one over from us and was loudly proclaiming how she planned on forcing her boyfriend to marry her after 5 years. Yeah, let us know how that works out for you, Rachel.

Since I promised you a lot to look at, I will deliver on that one. There is another blog which I adore. www.cakewrecks.com The web address should pretty much be self-explanatory for you, so go look at it and enjoy your Flashback Tuesday!

New Poll of the Week!

Last week's poll closed with 9 of you saying that you keep cool in the summer by Never Leaving Pool.

Good choice, although I was disappointed to hear how few of you don't wear clothes. Next time, I suppose.

Well this week, the poll is going to discuss the current trends that are taking over our nation. Which one of these is the most annoying trend that you absolutely cannot stand?

A. The success of artists like Taylor Swift and the Jonas Brothers (who, Thank the Lord are finally starting to dwindle with their fame):

B. Fashion trends such as Ed Hardy and Affliction:

C. Mommy Blogs (self explanatory. No one cares about your child's first poo):

D. Stick Portrait Window Clings (I feel as though I've already been over this one):

E. Mounting your television over your mantle (TACKY. Your living room says a lot about you and I feel that your focal point should never be a 52 inch flatscreen. Save it for your man room.):

F. Twitter (although I have one and was recently attacked for saying that I don't think breastfeeding in public is appropriate. That is why they make breast pumps and bottles. No one wants to see your areolas while they are eating a pepperoni pizza.):

Vote, will you, and have a wonderful Thursday!!!

Trends That Are Ridiculous

Along with things such as Affliction T's, Ed Hardy, Taylor Swift, and Twitter (although I do have one), I thought that I would add another trend to the list of things that have gotten EXTREMELY out of hand:

I mean honestly, people. I understand having things like 'family pride' or whatever, but good Lord... STOP ALREADY with your personalized window clings! Trust me, no one cares about your stick family portrait. Leave it for your scrapbook, not for your bumper. You look like an ass.

New Layout

Well, I guess you are wondering why Kate on the Cob is different today. Well, someone said something ugly about my Animated Sunglasses, so in order to appease my readers without punching them in the face, I decided to just pick something new. This layout combines two things that I like very much. 1. Coffee 2. Stripes. Enjoy!

I'll leave you with the cutest child (and grandmother) in the world. I detest 'baby blogs' so, soak this photo in because I don't post children's photos often. Unless they are doing something horribly inappropriate. Happy Wednesday!

New Poll of the Week!

Well, well, well. I am apparently a blogging fool today. On a roll with three blog entries posted before noon. I guess that's just how this day is going. So, the Poll of the Week closed with 6 of 13 votes saying that they are going to the beach for their summer vacas! That should be fun. And hot. More than likely, ALL of these beach visits are going to the locale below:

This photo was taken of me and my friends in Destin, Florida at a bachelorette party (Top 3 Bachelorette Parties Ever!) for my dear friend Carie Hart back in 2007. There we are, all lined up (minus the two who didn't make it into the photo, sorry Casey and Melissa, I think) on the beach with our matching airbrushed beach chairs. Good times.

Anyway, anyone from Louisiana only goes to one of two locations to the beach. 1. Destin. 2. Gulf Shores. It is a very rare exception to find a Louisianian who goes anywhere other than these two places or anywhere near the 'Flora-bama'. There are other beaches in the world, people! To each his own, I suppose.

So, yesterday, I did something really weird. I woke up by the alarm on my cell phone. Sent and received two texts. I took a shower and got ready. I went downstairs and made my coffee. Then I left the house. I got in the car and realized that I didn't have my cell phone. I went back inside and overturned the entire house for 5 minutes looking for the phone. It wasn't to be found anywhere, so I had to go to work phone-less. I got home from work at 4 and after MUCH intense searching, I found it. The new Poll of the Week is a quiz. So, where did I find my phone? Good luck!

Things That Should Be Surprising, But Aren't

Last night John and I decided to eat at a semi-local establishment for dinner because I got a $5 coupon in the mail. We love finding opportunities to be cheap. So we pull into the parking lot directly next to this:

I feel as though The Diddle Martins have already touched on this topic, but I figured, it is semi-rare that you get an opportunity to get up close and personal with one of these train wrecks, so why not talk about it? Behold, the "Spaghetti O's" car. Please take note at how detailed these people are with their Mazda 626. The rims:

It is as though the wheels are covered in tiny Spaghetti O's that have escaped from the can. On the trunk is the bar code. You know, in case you want to scan it:

Also if you really look hard there is the phone number to the company that painted this car in this fashion... you know, if you are interested in transforming your Sister Civ from a natural Taffeta White into the Suave Strawberry Shampoo car. One last photo, the Nutritional Information Sunroof:

That should wrap up all of the classiness from the pre-dinner parking lot experience. After we ate our fill of chips and queso, we decided that we should make it an official date night and go see The Hangover (warning, rant coming):

I was pretty disappointed with it, to be perfectly honest. I don't know if I didn't like it because it was super predictable, or because people had spoiled parts of it that were 'so hilarious' so I knew what was coming, or if I was trying to figure out the whole time why everyone in the world seemed to think it was the funniest movie of all time. I thought that Heather Graham did a good job and that's about it. I laughed at the credit photos, but I left the theater thinking, Really? That's it? It might not have helped that I saw it with John who was cynical about it based on all of the hype.

Well, I got a surprise when I got home, that's for sure. Evel Dick commented on my blog about Big Brother! I couldn't believe it. It may very well be an impostor, but since it says that he is in the agriculture business on his blog profile, that makes me think it's for real. So, Flashback Tuesday turned out to be an abnormally banner day!

Pageants

Back in high school, my mother made me compete in my high school's beauty pageant. It was called "Our Miss Millenium"(original for Southwood since it was the year 2000 and all). So against my will, we went and got a dress, put on WAY too much makeup and pranced around on a stage. That was the same year that there was an ice storm in Shreveport prohibiting the pageant from being a two night event. Normally during the first night, the 50 or so contestants would be dwindled down to 25, therefore leaving half of the girls with some sense of pride of beating out the other half.

Since this year hell froze over, and the show could not go on, it was all squeezed into one night. I, did not make the Top 10. I was disappointed, but mostly just ready to wash my face. However, there was still a chance at winning Miss Congeniality. After all of the votes were counted, a girl named Angela Griffie won Miss Congeniality. Oh well, I thought, I'm sure she was a nice girl. I had this attitude until it was revealed to me that she VOTED FOR HERSELF!!!!!

First of all, who does that? Second of all, I was one vote away!!!!!!! I would have gotten a big ass trophy and something to brag about for years to come if I had only voted for myself as well. Then we would have had a vote-off and I definitely would have won. I mean, I am so much more likeable than her. Anyway, I am not bitter and have moved on. Or so I thought.

I wonder if Ole Angela received one of these in her mailbox before she left on vacation for Seattle:

That's right. I received an application to become Miss Louisiana!!!!! It seems that after all those years, the pageant world has finally seen what they have been missing. In your face, Angela!

My Thoughts On Baby Showers

Over the past week and a half, I have been bombarded with Facebook messages and text messages from two individuals asking for my and my mother's addresses. This can only mean one thing. Either someone is getting married or they are having a baby.

Now, for the record, I do not mind ONE BIT if someone that I know and like and actually hang out with gets married or decides to have a baby or whatnot. Receiving a shower invitation for one of those people is completely acceptable.

HOWEVER, if I haven't talked to you or seen you for at least 5 years (which, in this case, I haven't seen this person in over 6), DO NOT send me an invitation to one of your showers (unless we are related). People say that it is proper etiquette to send a gift to these people that send this stuff. Well is it proper etiquette to have to reach so far back in your mind to back when you remembered how to spell my name correctly and have a mutual friend ask me for my address so that I have to purchase a wedding/baby gift for you? Why would you want people that you no longer care enough to have a relationship with to have to get a gift for you and have to endure something such as this:

The only appealing thing on that entire Bingo square is the free space. And possibly the Milk square. Also, a side note. When Googling images of 'Baby Shower' this one came up.

What an inventive idea. It is an actual baby shower that you clip on to the side of the tub so that your child can do nothing but stand up so you can just hose him/her off. Also, I like the kid's afro.

Anyway, why should I (a single girl with no babies), have to purchase gifts for this married girl (who, for the record, didn't bother to invite me to her wedding) who is now knocked up? Why doesn't she have to get me a gift for leading a fabulous single life? I feel that SJP touched on this issue in an episode of Sex and the City. She had better just wait because whenever I decide to get married (not having babies), she WILL be recieving an invitation to a shower. And my gift had better be good!!!! Maybe that's the only reason why people actually get these gifts for other people. Because they want the favor returned. But what if I never get married? Then what?

The Other Woman

I'm not sure how many ladies actually know what it's like to be the "Other Woman" when you are with a man.  Well, I do!  

Let me just say that being cheated on sucks, especially when it is going on in front of me constantly.  Most of the time I will be in the middle of a sentence, only to see a far away look on John's face.   This is when I know that he is thinking of her.   He would rather be looking at her or touching her, but he doesn't want me to get mad so he tries to play it off and pretend that he was paying attention to me the whole time.

I'd like everyone to meet the Other Woman in John's life.  I call her "Roxanne":

Not only is she a gigantic whore who he pays for a good time, but she also has a BLINKING RED LIGHT!!!!  Could she be more loose?   I think not.  

This is how John behaves when she is around.  He should be socializing with friends, or being the center of attention, Instead:

It's ongoing and I don't know how to stop it.  I try to hide Roxanne from John but it always ends in me getting yelled at.   I've been threatened that if I take her and break her face then he will not speak to me for a very long time.   He always takes her side!!!

I guess at least Roxanne isn't an X-Box...

Things That I Should Probably Just Go Ahead and Get Over

An open letter to the driver of this Ford Mustang:

Who the heck do you think you are? You park in the community parking garage as if you drive a Benz. You have invested in your MUSTANG an paint job that consists of a maroon color crossed with black crossed with splatter paint. This is a crime against not only, your precious Mustang, but my eyes! You then force the rest of the workers in our building to park like so:

I don't know if you realize this, but your MUSTANG is over ten years old. That body style stopped being produced in 1997, therefore your MUSTANG COUPE 2Door, even in excellent condition, cannot be worth more than a $1,600 trade in value (according to Kelly Blue Book). So, seriously, you aren't fooling the rest of us. Park in ONE parking place and stop being a douchebag.

Sincerely,

Kate Warren and Gladpys the Sister Civic

PS. I know you are from Keithville.

I Don't Want To See Babies, Except This One

So this is my ADORABLE nephew Miller. He has quite an attitude, just like his Aunt Kate.


Yesterday, I updated my Facebook status to say, "Kate is tired of seeing pictures of babies. Was that ugly?" And some people, naturally were offended. My thinking is that if you were offended, then you are guilty of showing too much of your baby. Facebook has gone from seeing pictures of people having fun and doing super amazing things and documenting their lives to posting baby pictures. How boring! I want to see pictures of you doing things that I can discuss with my friends later. It's either that, or we'll discuss how ugly your baby is. Maybe it's the age that I'm at. Everyone is popping out children. Perhaps I should find younger friends. Or perhaps I should delete Facebook (yeah right.)

I don't care for children. Except this one. And his baby brother or sister (hopefully sister) that I just found out about!!! Wooo hoo! I'll care for that one as well.

Jon and Kate Plus 8 Minus 1

This past summer I finally investigated what all the buzz was about regarding the show Jon and Kate Plus 8. Basically there's this couple who has 8 kids - 6 of them are sextuplets and the other 2 are twins. So the show documents the family life and yada yada.


It's not really that interesting of a show. I'm not sure why I even continued watching it but there are two things that stood out to me. I think that they have excellent parenting skills. They have taught the kids how to chip in, do their part, get along, share, etc.

The other thing that stood out to me is that Kate is a raging bitch. She constantly talks down to Jon, tells him how dumb he is, and basically makes fun of him on national television. Bless his heart, Jon is so passive-aggressive that he just sits there and takes it and never stands up to defend himself.

So, this morning when I checked my usual celebrity blog sites, I was not surprised IN THE LEAST when I saw this:

Basically the article talks about how Kate was off promoting her new book somewhere and Jon was out at a bar. No big deal. He has the right to go to a bar, right? Well, he's caught leaving said bar with some chick driving his new car. When asked who the girl was he says:

“I went to Legends to speak to the owner. A friend of mine wanted to check out my car, so I let her drive it to her car,” he says. “Yes, I have female friends — but that is all she is. I’m not going to end my friendships just because I’m on TV.”

What an idiot!!!!! There's nothing wrong with going out and having some drinks and having a designated driver, but why didn't he just say that? Maybe that wasn't even the case. All I know is that Kate may be Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, but she doesn't deserve to be cheated on.

Things You Don't Expect To Go Awry

This afternoon while at work and enjoying my 48th game of Solitaire for the day (it's harder than it looks, folks), I was listening to my Pandora. If you haven't heard of Pandora.com, you should quickly open a new tab and check that out. It's internet radio where you can put in an artist and it will play that artist along with artists who are similar or have similar musical qualities. You have the option to "Thumbs Up" songs if you like them or "Thumbs Down" if you think they are crap (careful, you can only "Thumbs Down" so many things in an hour, or you get punished and are forced to listen to stuff you don't like.... which is bullcrap, but whatever).

Well after the victory that was getting U2 tickets, clearly U2 is my artist of choice for the week. Mostly Pandora plays songs relating to them such as Goo Goo Dolls, Wallflowers, The Police (Thumbs Way Up), The Cure, etc. while on this station. Today, all of a sudden, out of NOWHERE, Big and Rich's "Save a Horse, Ride A Cowboy" comes on. I'm dumbfounded as to what I should even say here. But really? Why, Pandora, why?

YUCK!!!!! The only conclusion that I have come up with regarding this mishap is that Pandora was testing me. Testing me to see if I would immediately "Thumbs Down" it. Which, I did of course. It was just bizarre. (Wendy, the psychic masseuse at Mansfield Studios, would probably classify this as the Sun is in Jupiter's orbit or something, but I'm still at a loss for words).

Controversy

The media is abuzz today regarding this girl (Miss California) and the way she answered her Top 5 question in the Miss USA Pageant last night:

"When asked by judge Perez Hilton, an openly gay gossip blogger, whether she believed in gay marriage, Miss California, Carrie Prejean, said “We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite. And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.”

After giving this answer, the media, gays, lesbians, and the pageant world is pissed off. My question is why?

She gave an answer for how she believes, however no one will accept it. It's interesting to me that the people who oppose her answer want people to accept how they believe... Why can't they practice what they preach? It's frustrating that when this topic was put to a vote in Prejean's home state of Califorina via Prop 8, a majority of the state (at 52%) voted against gay marriage.

I understand that homosexuals want the same rights as heterosexuals, but when it is put to a vote and opposed, there isn't much more that they can do. Why crucify this girl for not only being in the majority of California's views, but standing behind what she believes?

Things That I Am Uncertain About

I sort of have a fascination with this Lady Gaga person. Her music is discotheque catchy. I really like her song "Poker Face" (the original version, notsomuch the dance/Phoenix remix). Turns out that it IS NOT about the ridiculous things that John Belushi told me it was about (basically oral sex), however it IS about her having sex with a guy and fantasizing about a girl, thus having a 'Poker Face.' Good for her, I guess.

So, again she's fascinating in more ways than one. Especially the decisions she makes regarding her wardrobe. See for yourselves:


In this photo she is wearing something kooky, but not soooo kooky that it looks like she is off the rocker. I would even go as far to say that this is fashion forward and original. Then we have this:



Ok. She isn't wearing pants. It's hard to classify if this is or isn't slutty for two reasons.

1. It's not like it's a thong or even a bikini cut onesie. They're granny panties, therefore her ass as well as her girly bits are covered.

2. I read in an interview that she doesn't wear pants or sleeves (so basically a swimsuit onesie) AND she has her hair dyed platinum because her grandmother is legally blind. So apparently she can only see Gaga while performing if her legs, arms and hair are all exposed. This makes sense so maybe she isn't all that batshit crazy, right?

Wrong:



Is this a, SHEER PANTSUIT? I guess the pre-concieved notions regarding her sanity are now officially out the window.

Things That Are Ridiculous

As I was perusing my Facebook earlier this morning, I came across a photo of a friend's child. (I decided to be nice and NOT post the photo for obvious reasons.) I've come to the realization that some people put bows in their daughters' hair as infants because they are concerned that strangers may think that the child is a male. Or maybe they do it because they want their daughter to be super girly. This is fine. However, I feel that there should be some size guidelines drafted for acceptable headgear. Behold:

APPROPRIATE HEADGEAR:

INAPPROPRIATE HEADGEAR:

Why a mother/father/grandparent would do this to their baby is beyond me. (Note that she is also wearing a bracelet). Bless her heart.