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Monday, June 8, 2009

Where's Sharon?

When I was an undergrad, I chose to major in Art.  I did this for one reason and one reason only. There were only two math classes and two science classes to take in the entire curriculum.  Had I ever drawn anything other than bubbles and smileys in notes to friends?  No.  I had no idea what I was doing.  I had no painting, drawing, ceramic, or graphic design skills whatsoever. With the exception of Paint for Windows 95.

So, I started my art classes like a fish out of water... just trying to get by without too much criticism.  I liked going during the summers because there were less students around and less actual class time to be embarrassed by my lack of skills.   My first summer semester, I decided to take a little class called Figure Drawing (non-art majors may know it as 'The Naked People Drawing Class.")  Keep in mind that I had never seen a fully naked person in front of me.  Oh, how that was about to change.   

I get to class that first summer morning and whew, we just did basic drawing exercises.  No nakeds yet.  The next day, same thing.  Followed by another clothed day.  I thought, "Man, this is going better than I thought."  So, imagine my surprise when in walks Sharon, my first nude model.  She had a semi-mullet thing going on and was super pale (not that there's anything wrong with that).  She came in wearing a cape and what I think was a fisherman's hat.  All that was missing were lures and hooks.  Then she dropped her cape.  OMG I was so mortified.  Not for her, but for myself.  It took ALL THAT WAS IN ME not to roll on the floor laughing.  I mean, she was standing there naked!!! I could see her labia!  And it wasn't a pretty one, at that.  

Once the two hour class was finally over and I was safely in my car away from my classmates, I lost it.  I don't believe I have ever laughed so hard in my life.  (Once I finally got a grip, I was able to deal with the rest of this class, followed by seven more elective figure drawing classes to complete my major.  Turns out, figures are much easier to draw than boxes and stuff.  Except hands. Hands always look like mittens.)  After I got home, I showed my roommate Melissa K. what I had done in school that day.  She was in disbelief just as I had been.  So I rolled up my favorite drawing of Sharon and we hid it in my other roommate, Melissa B's room.  Thus started a game of "Where's Sharon?"  For the rest of the summer, whoever would find Sharon, had to then re-hide her in someone else's room.  It was a fun game.  It's always a shock to walk into your closet and find a pair of boobs flashing you.  

A few months later, the roommates and I spied the real Sharon at a local Monjuni's eating with her boyfriend.  We couldn't contain our laughter.  Bless her heart.  I hope to run into her again someday.   I will leave you with a few of my drawings from Figure Drawing (only one is of Sharon... I'll let you decide which one that would be. And warning, you may see a nipple.)

 

12 comments:

melissa said...

OH MY! Did you really have to sit there and draw when a lady was sitting across from you, on a chair with her legs spread apart???? NO WAY!!!

Kate said...

Yes, Melissa. Yes I did. For 3 years. I'll file this under Things That Will Always Haunt Me.

Elizabeth said...

In my first year of art school, in life drawing, we had:

1. Flea bite guy
2. Sex offender guy (I'm not kidding)
3. Frequent erection guy
4. Track marks and Chinese dragon robe girl

Sharon sounds great in comparison.

Kate said...

Good points Elizabeth. We had a few shady characters ourselves, but nothing in comparison to yours. Although, there may have been a lady who started her period mid-class. The upside to that was that we got to leave early.

Jamie, Jonathan, Beaux and Apollo said...

Got to wonder about those Ruston Whackos!!!

Melissa said...

Ooooh, I'm a superstar! I'm so excited that I was mentioned in your blog! When I saw the title of that post, I knew exactly where it was going. I can remember finding Sharon in my bed one time. Ahhhh, memories of the Roach House!

Stephanie Netherton said...

This really was the best summer of our entire college career. And that trip to Monjuni's takes the cake. I remember her sitting there, eating cheap spaghetti, wearing a hat with a feather in it. I too am haunted, and I never saw her naked ... other than through your drawings.

Kate said...

Knobs! Is that you? I can't believe you found this blog! Glad to know that you're reading. I'll have to mention you more often. :)

I know, Steph! That summer was awesome!

Stephanie Netherton said...

I believe this was the same summer of the Magic Mirror game on the Shrek DVD.

libbyg said...

this post reminds me of the Tuba Girl who played in the small band at basketball games and shrieked really loudly during free-throw shots. Yeah, we had to draw her several times. Icky.

Kate said...

I had to draw Tuba Girl also. I totally forgot about her since, clearly, I forcefully blocked that from my mind.

Jennye said...

On a side note Kate (because I'm trying not to think about sitting in a class like this) - your drawings are very well done. I had no idea you were so artistic!