Monday, June 8, 2009

The Time I Went To A Frat Party

Once upon a few years ago, some friends and I travelled over to our Alma Mater for, what else, Homecoming. I figured that this was going to be pretty interesting since the people I was going with weren't necessarily the people that I hung out with the most while actually attending Tech. So off we go. We ended up staying at the 'nice' hotel in Ruston, which was actually pretty dumpy. We didn't know this going in, because why would we stay in a hotel when we lived there? So we get there, unpack all of our crap and head over to the game. For whatever reason, we ended up having to park very far away... like near the Smoothie King far away. No big deal, we made it over there and ended up 'tailgating' if you would even call it that, from tent to tent outside the stadium. For the record, it looked NOTHING like this:

We meet up with some of our friends from Shreveport and hung out with them for most of the day. We sweated profusely throughout the game (thanks to Tech for making the students/cheap seats on the sunny side of the stadium) and ended up leaving early (since the game sucked) to meet some friends at Ponchatoulas for some food and beverages.

After eating, everyone wondered where we should go. Someone suggested the KA house. I jumped at the chance to go. (During my actual school-time at college, I had NEVER gone to a frat house, except once to the TKE house to borrow a water hose, but I don't count that time.) I had always wondered what actually goes on in a frat house. This was the only preconceived image that I had in my head:

I couldn't decide if I would be excited or disappointed if fraternities were like Animal House. (Everyone say hi to the real John Belushi. He's not as cute as mine is.) So, I walk in to the house and unfortunately, wasn't too impressed. There was a trough (like a horse feeding trough) filled with Natural Light. There was a stage area where a band played who were HORRIBLE . Everyone felt relieved when they would take a break and the sound system rap music resumed. This was circa the year that the "Chain Hang Low" song came out and fortunately for everyone there, I was wearing a rather large chain necklace, so I entertained everyone with my amazing dance skills. I mean, I was on Silver Spurs.

There was a GIGANTIC bowl of PDP (Panty Dropping Punch). It wasn't too bad. Mine stayed on, for the record. At one point, I needed to go to the bathroom and my friend Sass gave me a tour of where the toilets were. After nearly vomiting on myself in sheer disgust, I decided upon squatting near a fence far away from the house.

On my way back in, I discovered two GIANT swings on the front porch. This, I thought, is the only redeeming quality of this place. Sass, Eric and I sat on one side:

Will, Stephanie and an unnamed girl sat on the opposite swing from us. The goal was for us to swing at opposite rotations in order to make it impossible for anyone to enter the house without us kicking them. Sometimes we would catch up with each other and our swingers would try to kick the feet of the other swing's swingers. It was a lot of fun. At one point, when we were swinging toward each other at a rapid rate, I heard the unnamed girl mention to Will "I can't help it, I have eczema." I mean, who shouts that in front of strangers? So from then on we openly made fun of her until she ran off.

Thanks to the swing, it ended up being a pretty awesome Homecoming experience. Not to mention, I'm glad that I finally shattered the mystere of a frat house.


Stephanie Netherton said...

I'm glad we never went while we were actual college students. It made the swing that much more fun. Other than the fact that I thought my legs were going to get chopped off by the opposing swing. Good times.