Friday, May 29, 2009

Room for Improvement

I occasionally have those mornings where I wake up late and don't have the energy or time to wash, dry, straighten this mane of hair on my head without being late for work. Actually, usually I have plenty of time but I'm just too lazy to do it. It takes me FOREVER to dry my hair and I get so overheated due to hair dryer that I've gotten to the point of just drying it halfway and saying "Screw You" to the rest of it. On top of the heat-issue, my hair has gotten to a length where it isn't easy to lean my head over the bathtub and wash it effectively anymore. (For the record, I take baths at night and don't wash my hair at the same time because if I sleep on it after washing it, it gets all lumpy and wavy and not right. Just letting yall know that I bathe every day.) Enter Psssssst (pronounced like it's spelled):

Side story: Once upon a time, my good friend Melissa and I took a trip to Drug Emporium in search of Psssssst, because that is where Barber Sass informed me that it can be purchased inexpensively. We walk in D.E. and peruse the never ending shampoo aisles. There are seriously like 3 shampoo aisles, which is a little ridiculous, but it's good to know that they have such a nice selection. Anyway, so I look and look and look and I can't find the Psssssst ANYWHERE. Great. So Melissa and I go to the cashier area and ask for assistance. We tell the girl what we're looking for and she points us to condoms. No! We tell her. Psssssst isn't a type of contraceptive, it is spray shampoo. Finally we find it with no help from her. We laughed for a long time about that story at the time... Ah memories.

So, like I was saying before, Psssssst can be a real lifesaver when you are too lazy to wash your hair. You simply point and shoot where your hair looks greasy (i.e. territory where an egg could be fried), and it sprays white talc or something that I'm sure is really harmful to the environment as well as yourself and off you go with perfect 'clean' hair. Barber Sass also told me that Ken Paves uses Psssssst on Jessica Simpson's hair (which I'm sure is true since it is rumored that she is an unbathing, disgusting person. I know this because she craps in her wardrobe from film sets... another story, another day.) instead of washing it. Barber Sass' mother D.D. also told me that Psssssst, as she pronounced P.S.S.S.S.S.S.T., was a hot commodity in the 70's, back when people flat ironed their hair with actual irons.

I am not upset at all about not being born in that decade if you were wondering. So, I used Psssssst a few times. It just doesn't work right for me. I find that unless you have dirty to light blond colored hair, it leaves gray/white streaks where there should be beautiful strawberry locks. So, instead of looking clean, I just look old. I think that I should write the headquarters of Psssssst and tell them that they could better their product if it came in different shades. White could be for blonds, brown for red/brunettes, and black for black-headed people. I should be a marketing strategist.


melissa said...

HAHAHA!!! When I saw your pic that was attached to this blog I just died out laughing! Ohhhhh!

Yes, brown Pssssssst would work so much better in my hair.

Stephanie Jordan said...

You get tired blow drying your hair? Dear, walk a day in these shoes. I plan the events of my day around straightening.

Kate said...

I know Melissa! I think that experience was one of those had to be there experiences.

Steph - I thought about you and your hair issues as I was typing this entry and thought, God this is what Steph deals with three+ times a week.

Jamie said...

I'm blessed to have short, thin, fine, blah hair I suppose. And Jessica REALLY is nasty? Gees.

Ashley said...

I request the Jessica Simpson story be your next blog entry!!!

Cari said...

When I was in high school, I worked at Eckerd`s. A mom and her special needs daughter came in and inquired about Psssst, and I too, did not know what the hell they were talking about. At least I didnt send then to the condoms.