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Thursday, June 25, 2009

Caricatures

I'm so ready to leave this town that I could pee my pants (possibly because I've drank a lot of water recently in order to become Skinny Bridesemaid). So, as I'm wasting time during my last hour of work, I decided to peruse some photos from my Photobucket account. This is what I came across:

Myself, Sass and Steph's Simpson's caricatures (Stephanie's should have darker hair now by the way)! Steph made these for us when the Simpson's Movie came out a couple of years ago. Just thought I'd share.
Seriously, thirty more minutes and I'm free!!!!!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Emerald City.

John and I leave tomorrow for Seattle. We are so excited that we can hardly sleep. People keep asking us what we are going to do while we are there (as if there is absolutely nothing that would be remotely interesting for these people to see), so I will tell you. I have planned out an itinerary to ensure that we get to see everything that we want to see while we are there since it is possible that we will never go back there if we hate it.

Thursday - Travel day.

We leave Longview at 320PM tomorrow and won't arrive until around 830PM. No worries because it doesn't get dark in Seattle until 10. We will probably eat something and then pass out from exhaustion of flying. Flying makes me so tired to the point of lethargic. Or we will rock it out at the Nite Lite. We will just have to see.

Friday - Pike Place Market.

This is where they throw the fish at you. There is also a bronze pig named Rachel who is the mascot of the city (who also doubles as a giant piggy bank that supports the Market's charities).

We want to stop by the original Starbucks, and also get half priced tickets at their information booth to anything we may want to do. Such as an Argosy Cruise around Puget Sound (I like at least one SUPER-touristy thing to do on vacation)! Woot.

Saturday - Get this. We are going to take the 'Victoria Clipper' and head over to Victoria, British Columbia (Yes. We have our passports)! They have lots of pubs, shops, parks and little points of interest. Example:


There is a place called Miniature World with a working miniature circus, miniature aliens, and (hopefully) midgets who run the place. This had better be good. Also, Victoria has a totem pole park. I thought that may be interesting as well as a museum that was listed in my bathroom book "1000 Places to See Before You Die." So I figure we should probably hit that up so I can cross it off the list.

Sunday - John's Day. We are going to do whatever he wants to do this day (isn't that nice of me), including going to the Seattle Sounders' soccer game after hanging out in historic Pioneer Square. We are bringing our Drew Carey glasses and scarves. Can't wait!

Monday - The Seattle Center. This is where the Space Needle is. I plan on venturing to the top and riding any roller coasters that may be secretly hidden up there (like at the Stratosphere in Vegas)! Also in the Seattle Center is the Pacific Science Center, the Experience Music Project (Jimi Hendrix exhibit), Aquarium, a carnival!, and fountains and whatnot. I'm pretty sure it was all built for the World's Fair in 1962.

Tuesday - Unplanned. I figure it would be best to leave this day open in case we see stuff that we want to go back to later. Or shopping, or doing nothing.
Wednesday - We come home :( or possibly :)

I am going to take my laptop with me on the trip in hopes that I may have an internet connection at the Moore (rolling eyes) so that I may upload a photo or two for you precious readers. I know that you will be extremely bored at work with nothing to read because I'll be gone, and I don't want to have that kind of pressure ruining my vacation.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Flashback Tuesday

Anyone remember this:


I sure do. Takes me back to middle/high school. Everyone smelled the same. And Kate Moss was made a superstar in America. God Bless.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Reasons You Should Always Be Nice To Your Bank Teller

I know that it shocks you all to know that I haven't always had the stable career that I have currently. I've had pretty much every job imaginable (except food service. I think I would lose my temper too easily if I waited tables and would end up hocking all sorts of things in drinks and burgers.) So, once upon about 5 years ago, I was a bank teller. I hated this job with a passion although I was really good at it. It doesn't take many brain cells to be able to count to 1000, and that's why I worked with some of the idiots that I worked with.

My least favorite co-worker was a black lady named Gladys. She loved wearing houseshoes to work on Mondays and stripper heels on Fridays. She also had a gold tooth with a martini glass engraved into it. Front and center, ladies and gents. She was the vault teller (meaning she was in charge of the vault and all of it's money.) Indefinitely on a daily basis I had to 'deal' with Gladys. I would either have to sell her money (if I was over my limit) or buy money (if I had none) and we would sometimes have a 5 minute discussion during this time if she was in a good mood. She would tell me her favorite rap songs or theories on how she thought that drinking water with lemons eats away all of the fat in your body. If she was in a bad mood, she wouldn't make eye contact and would ignore me completely whilst snatching money from my hands or throwing it at me. (A bit of a head case, was Gladys).

One Saturday, Gladys was away and I had to man the vault. I was a little nervous because I didn't really want to be responsible for 100K dollars. NOR did I want to be there on a Saturday when I could have been sleeping in. Well it didn't matter what I wanted because I had to do it because there was no one else smart enough. So I approach Gladys' desk and prepare to count lots of money.

Around 1130AM, in walks a lady of foreign descent (she may have been Middle Eastern, I don't really know, it's been a long time, people). She wants to deposit a check and get two hundred dollars back. No big deal. So, I'm sitting there running the check through the check reader and I get out some twenties and I start counting her change (I always counted it three times in order to not be short or over at the end of the day) to myself. "Twenty, forty, sixty..." When I get to 80, I notice that I have a counterfeit twenty that's been in the vault drawer all day. Dammit Gladys!!! You were supposed to catch this! So, I'm counting silently to myself again and trying to decide if she noticed that I noticed the twenty whilst counting. I decided that I hadn't paused long enough to throw up a red flag. This was the biggest conflict of my telling career.... So what did I do? Did I take out the fake 20 and risk being short that day?

"20, 40, 60, 80, 100, 20, 40, 60, 80, and 200. Thank you Ms. ____ Have a nice day!"


Her twenty looked a little something like the bottom one. Oops. I felt a little guilty about it, but she was foreign. She would never know the difference, right? Oh well.

Childhood Reflections

Look how pretty these leaves are!



Now, imagine about a thousand of them, dead and buried in between thousands of these:


So, when my brother and I were children, my parents decided it would be a good idea to get a 'rock garden.' Why? I have NO earthly idea. My brother and I protested because we didn't understand their reasoning behind this rock garden, and honestly, flowers are prettier than rocks, but whatever. So, off they went making their beloved garden. I'm pretty sure Jeff and I stayed inside and watched either Old Yeller or Miracle on 34th Street (since these were the only two movies we owned that weren't cartoons), while they planted. Finally it was finished and it looked something like this (except remove cacti and insert gigantic oak trees. Also it was about 10 times this size):


Neat, I thought. A garden, minus flowers. Whatever. Whatever is right! It turns out that my parents secretly had devised a plan for when Jeff and I were to be punished. We would be banished to the 100 degree+ heat whenever we had done something wrong and we were to pick the leaves out of the rock garden. Just thinking back upon this, I wince. I remember wishing so many times to trade lives with Peaches the rat terrier because she didn't have to pick the leaves out of the rock garden. It was absolute torture. There were THOUSANDS of them, literally thousands!

So, yesterday when we went over to John's parents house for Father's day, I noticed that there was an unfinished fenced area around the side of their new house. I asked John, "What's going on over there?" He replied "Oh, Dad wants to build a rock garden." I instantly was teleported back to the age of 7 when I would get bloody and chapped fingers digging out those leaves. Poor Mackenzie and Jon-Thomas (John's 4 and 3 year old sister and brother.) They have no idea about their father's maniacal plan of what is in store for them in the upcoming years.

Friday, June 19, 2009

PS22 Chorus

I don't know how many of you have heard of the PS22 Chorus. Basically they are a 5th grade choir from Staten Island, New York who perform amazing covers. Watch this clip below and you will be amazed at their talent. Depending on your taste of music, I have included a few different songs for you to listen to, in case you can't stand one particular song. You are welcome, readers. Seriously, these kids are amazing!







By the way, I LOVE the enthusiasm of their choir director. You can read more about the PS22 Chorus at their blog:

http://ps22chorus.blogspot.com/

New Poll of the Week!

Prepare yourselves, Britney fans. For you, this will be the best post EVER! For Non-Britney fans, just go ahead and go away. This is a HATER-FREE zone!

So, last week's poll closed with 8 of you preparing to be there! I'm so pumped because yesterday I scored three tickets to the show! Carie, Julie and myself will be there, in all of our white trash glory, to support our Louisianan childhood role model, Ringleader Britney!!!!:


I can just hear the 'wha-pish' of a whip now! So, for those of you who are going to the concert, which Britney do you plan on dressing up as?

SCHOOLGIRL BRITNEY


RED SPANDEX JUMPSUIT BRITNEY (OOPS I DID IT AGAIN)

BRITNEY AND JUSTIN: THE DENIM DYNAMIC DUO

I'M A SLAVE 4 U BRITNEY (AND SNAKE)

TOXIC BRITNEY (CRYSTAL-STUDDED SHEER ONESIE)

LIKE A VIRGIN BRITNEY

WHITE TRASH BRITNEY

K-FED-PHASE BRITNEY

BALD BRITNEY

GIMME MORE (BAD HAIR EXTENSIONS) BRITNEY

COMEBACK BRITNEY

Whew! That was semi-exhausting. So, there's a new poll this week about Seattle!! I will be there by the time that next week's poll closes, so go ahead and let me know what you think Seattle is best known for! Have a trashtastic weekend!

PS: For you Die-Hard Brit-Brit fans, please have a looksie at, what I personally think, to be her best performance ever! I remember watching it live and my parents telling me to "Turn that trash off!" If they only knew what was to come...





Thursday, June 18, 2009

Gunmetal Grey (or Gray)

Pretty much most of my life I have opted out of nail color. Not because I think it's trashy or anything, but because I have super fair skin and GIGANTIC nail beds. So, if I were to paint my nails, it would look like various colored pumpkinseeds had attacked my fingers. Well, last night, Nancy and I had a nail-painting party while we watched Ricki Lake's Charm School. (For the record, I have spent the last 5-7 years of my life avoiding getting sucked into those trashy shows that only have shock value, but alas, I have finally been sucked in. First by Paris and Onch, now by Bubbles and Risky.)

Anyway, Nancy was going on about all 47 different types of red nail polish she has, when she mentions: "Oh my gosh, I have the most awesome Gunmetal Grey/Gray!" I reply "Okay, let me see." So she pulls it out and it's a really awesome color. I think to self, I think I'm going to paint my fingers and toes with this grey/gray and see what people say. So this is how I did:




I don't think it looks too terribly bad, but I've also only seen two people today. They didn't notice. Also, the right hand is considerably worse than the left due to me not being ambidextrous. I can't wait to see what John says. He will most likely make a Twilight/Ska/Heads/Goth reference. Nancy has polish remover on standby.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Things That I'm Not Over

There are two things that can make me tear up at the snap of a finger. #1 would be for me to think about anything happening to Sue and Keithy to where they were taken away from me, if it be by death, or ninja kidnappers (I doubt that they would be kidnapped because Keithy is very handy, with any type of tool or supply. He was an Eagle Scout growing up and a modern-day version of MacGyver.)

#2 involves the Johnny Cash song/music video for his cover of Trent Reznor's "Hurt." John makes fun of me big time because even at the mentioning of the song, I immediately become inconsolable. A few minutes ago, "Hurt" came on my Pandora and I became a blubbering idiot. I couldn't 'Next' or 'Thumbs Down' it because I'd reached my max in an hour.


When this song/video came out in 2003, it would frequently come on VH1 or MTV or whatever was cool to watch at the time in college. I was not a big Johnny Cash follower, but I knew the basics. Louisiana Hayride. Old school Country music singer. Married June Carter. Man in Black. Folsom Prison. That was about the extent of my knowledge (which was pretty good for someone who didn't care about country, really).

However, when the video came out, I was mesmerized. I couldn't stop watching it. Everytime it came on, I would stop what I was doing and sit and basically weep. It is so moving. Most music videos are about glamour, bright lights, eye catching photography, sex, drugs, fame and fortune. This video is about the complete opposite: Reality.

It shows a weathered Johnny behind a piano and playing a guitar while looking back upon key moments in his life. The video also includes June Carter with Johnny, taking walks with their family and visiting the House of Cash Museum, which has been the victim of a flood and is now pretty much decaying. The images of June and Johnny are enough in themselves to break my heart:




Sure, we've all seen 'Walk the Line.' We all know that they had a rocky relationship. But who doesn't? Just listening to the lyrics of so many of his songs shows how obviously in love with June he was. I hope that my relationship turns out just like theirs (minus the drugs and stuff). June Carter Cash passed away with Johnny at her side on May 15, 2003. He passed away three months later.

Here is the video if you feel like squawling your eyes out, watch it:



Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Being A Bridesmaid

To me, there isn't a greater honor than a friend inviting you to be in her wedding, especially as a bridesmaid. I know that a lot of people groan and complain about it, but really, they feel good inside because they beat out so many other people that they thought would be picked and eventually weren't. Suckas! Anyway, my dear friend Laura has asked me to be a bridesmaid in her upcoming nuptials to her fiance, Marcus. The happy couple:




Nothing says true love like people in drag! So anyway, the last couple of weeks she has been on the bridesmaid's dress search which, that itself is enough to make any bridesmaid concerned. A bridesmaid's dress makes it or breaks it for the wedding experience of said bridesmaid. If they are uncomfortable or hate their dress, then they are pissed the whole time and sit around complaining about it to anyone with ears.

So, imagine my delight when an absolutely amazing dress was chosen for the bridesmaids!!! I mean, seriously, gorgeous. I may, actually, wear it again. No really. I know you don't believe me, but I really will. And it was a decent price! Whew.

Now that I don't worry about wearing something God-awful, my next worry consists of the same feeling that Bridesmaid #5 feels in her friend's wedding photos:


Bless her heart! I know what she is feeling, because this is about to be me in this wedding. Laura's other bridesmaids are all practically runway models who prefer 'blah' over savory OR sweet. I lost my personal runway model status after high school when I forgot where the gym was located and discovered Better Cheddars.

So, I have decided to enroll myself in Bridesmaid Boot Camp stat! I refuse to be the fat bridesmaid. My new diet consists of juice, water, cottage cheese, fish (not fried) and celery. If you catch me consuming anything that isn't on that list, punch me in the face. Please.

Flashback Tuesday

Readers, feast your eyes upon this little gem:


Please excuse the picture quality. Above is a little moment captured on film of my Senior Party. All of my friends at church and our mothers decided to throw us each a themed party for our last hoorahs. Mine was "Clue?" themed and was an absolute blast. We all went scavenger hunting all over town searching for mysterious envelopes in the pouring rain. Sigh. Good times.

PS. If you were wondering, in the photo is myself, Rebecca Dufrene Bogan, Laura Jo Caldwell, Krystalynn Culbertson Barre, Brittany Sanders, Jennifer Thompson Winterrowd, Katherine Ketchum-?????, and Leslie Elliott Procell.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Preferring Savory to Sweet

Prepare yourselves, this one is going to be short and sweet (maybe savory).

When someone says to me, "Oh my goodness, I had the best chocolate cake yesterday, you would just die (or eat the whole thing) if you had a bit", and I reply, "I don't really like sweets," they usually turn up their noses and de-friend me.

Well... it's not that I don't like sweets completely, I would just prefer something that I like to call "Savory." Savory is something that is not sweet. For example, if I were to snack on something, instead of grabbing a box of Oreos, I'd grab some Cheeze-Its, a pickle, a turkey sandwich, Chex Mix, or some pretzels (possibly all of it). Some people, mostly girls, find this so strange. I don't know why. Don't get me wrong. I would NEVER turn down a Cush's Red Velvet Cupcake, or some yogurt from TCBY, but I would also NEVER turn down a hot dog, even if it were post dinner. This post reminds me that I need to be more active on my diet. So, which do you prefer?

Savory:


Or Sweet:

Friday, June 12, 2009

New Poll of the Week!

Well, well, well. There are apparently more art lovers that read my blog than I thought. I am so proud that there was an overwhelming vote to visit the Louvre first after you arrive on your trips to Paris! And why wouldn't you, when you can see 'The Big Three' that the Louvre is famous for housing. These include:


Ah, the beautiful Mona Lisa. Which, by the way, is not as large as you would think. She is actually around the size of an 11x14 inch painting. Which is TINY considering the rest of Leonardo DaVinci's work is GIGANTIC!!! Sigh.

The enchanting 'Venus de Milo' (some know her as the 'Aphrodite of Milos') who was made around 120 BC and was found by some peasant rooting around in Greece in 1820. Turns out that, the French had to return their former most beautiful statue in the world (Medici Venus) to Italy after Napolean went and stole it from them. What an ass! Anyway, when the Venus de Milo was found, Parisian art critics promoted it to be the most beautiful statue in the world, thus gaining her (and France) worldwide fame. It's up to her viewers to make that call. However, she is absolutely breathtaking (I mean, if you like art and stuff).


The last of the "Big Three" is what I call the 'Wings of Victory' but her actual name is 'Winged Victory of Samothrace' also called the 'Nike of Samothrace'. To me, Wings of Victory is just easier to say and remember. According to research, she was made to celebrate a naval victory in the city of Rhodes. She is famous due to her naturalistic pose as well as the rendering of her drapery to depict a strong sea breeze. According to Wikipedia, the wings were included to illustrate her descent from the skies to the prow of a triumphant fleet. She was made around 250BC and is considered to be one of the great surviving sculptural masterpieces from the Hellenistic Period. This sculpture probably has the best spot in the Louvre. She sits between two major corridors. One leads to the crown jewels and the other leads to the Mona Lisa. Can't get much better than that!

You are welcome for the art history lesson.

Not that you were wondering, but the first place that I went when I arrived in Paris 5 years ago (seriously, has it been that long?) was the Notre Dame de Paris Cathedral (which if you weren't aware means Our Lady of Paris in French.) Literally, we got off the plane, dropped off our luggage at the hotel and walked over immediately to Notre Dame (we had to stay awake to properly adjust to the jet lag). Notre Dame is one of the most beautiful places that I have ever had the pleasure to set foot in (it is considered to be one of the finest examples of French Gothic architecture.) It's treasury, which costs 5 euro to see, was definitely Top 5 of the things I saw while there. I will leave you with two of my personal photos from Notre Dame de Paris.




PS. Take the new poll on Britney! She is coming to Shreveport on September 19th!!!! My hopes are to be front row.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

My Thoughts On Baby Showers

Over the past week and a half, I have been bombarded with Facebook messages and text messages from two individuals asking for my and my mother's addresses. This can only mean one thing. Either someone is getting married or they are having a baby.

Now, for the record, I do not mind ONE BIT if someone that I know and like and actually hang out with gets married or decides to have a baby or whatnot. Receiving a shower invitation for one of those people is completely acceptable.

HOWEVER, if I haven't talked to you or seen you for at least 5 years (which, in this case, I haven't seen this person in over 6), DO NOT send me an invitation to one of your showers (unless we are related). People say that it is proper etiquette to send a gift to these people that send this stuff. Well is it proper etiquette to have to reach so far back in your mind to back when you remembered how to spell my name correctly and have a mutual friend ask me for my address so that I have to purchase a wedding/baby gift for you? Why would you want people that you no longer care enough to have a relationship with to have to get a gift for you and have to endure something such as this:

The only appealing thing on that entire Bingo square is the free space. And possibly the Milk square. Also, a side note. When Googling images of 'Baby Shower' this one came up.

What an inventive idea. It is an actual baby shower that you clip on to the side of the tub so that your child can do nothing but stand up so you can just hose him/her off. Also, I like the kid's afro.

Anyway, why should I (a single girl with no babies), have to purchase gifts for this married girl (who, for the record, didn't bother to invite me to her wedding) who is now knocked up? Why doesn't she have to get me a gift for leading a fabulous single life? I feel that SJP touched on this issue in an episode of Sex and the City. She had better just wait because whenever I decide to get married (not having babies), she WILL be recieving an invitation to a shower. And my gift had better be good!!!! Maybe that's the only reason why people actually get these gifts for other people. Because they want the favor returned. But what if I never get married? Then what?

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The Other Woman

I'm not sure how many ladies actually know what it's like to be the "Other Woman" when you are with a man.  Well, I do!  

Let me just say that being cheated on sucks, especially when it is going on in front of me constantly.  Most of the time I will be in the middle of a sentence, only to see a far away look on John's face.   This is when I know that he is thinking of her.   He would rather be looking at her or touching her, but he doesn't want me to get mad so he tries to play it off and pretend that he was paying attention to me the whole time.

I'd like everyone to meet the Other Woman in John's life.  I call her "Roxanne":





Not only is she a gigantic whore who he pays for a good time, but she also has a BLINKING RED LIGHT!!!!  Could she be more loose?   I think not.  

This is how John behaves when she is around.  He should be socializing with friends, or being the center of attention, Instead:

It's ongoing and I don't know how to stop it.  I try to hide Roxanne from John but it always ends in me getting yelled at.   I've been threatened that if I take her and break her face then he will not speak to me for a very long time.   He always takes her side!!!

I guess at least Roxanne isn't an X-Box...

My Secret Guilty Pleasure

I fear that this post may be cause for some of my friends to delete me from their lives, and I'm semi-embarrassed to admit this, but I LOVE this show:

Paris Hilton's My New BFF Season 2. This show is so ridiculous and so dumb that for whatever reason, I am mesmerized by it. On last night's episode, Queen Paris (who for whatever reason is constantly wearing a bejewelled headband and thinks it is cute to talk/squeak like a twelve year old) introduced the wannabe BFF's to her friend Mark. Mark is engaged and getting married in three weeks. So basically she had the BFF's take him out for his bachelor party as this week's challenge. They get there and these girls/boy get wasted!! One girl (Monica) gives Mark a lap dance where you could see her vagina as well as her entire breasts (it wasn't a pretty sight, as she is not a Size 2 like Paris is. Not that that would be a pretty sight anyway), and then another girl (Arika) makes out with Mark, all while Paris is watching nearby.

The morning following the party, Paris arrives in her pink Bentley and has all of the girls come outside for a meeting. Except for Arika (Paris had Onch keep her inside and told her that she had a surprise for her. By the way, this is Onch:


Onch is the most ridiculous character I have EVER seen on television. He/She was a former contestant of Paris' first season of the BFF show and ended up losing. However, he is such a character that she brought him with her as her 'Pet' to this season. Onch is a man who thinks he is a woman. He dresses and talks like a 15 year old school girl. So, I guess you could say that he is transgender. One more photo of Onch just for fun: And yes those are Mickey Mouse-Hair ears)


So anyway, Onch finally brought Arika outside to her 'surprise' which included Arika doing the walk of shame and apologizing to Mark for making out with him and behaving like a backstabbing slut. THEN, Paris brought out Mark's fiance and had Arika apologize to her, just before dismissing her from the show.

I was so embarrassed for her!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, that has to be the worst, right? Then Paris kicked Monica (Vagina-Flasher) off the show for being so slutty in public saying that Paris had a mental image of her vagina etched into her brain. I was sort of proud of Paris for doing that. Maybe she does have some values? Eh, probably not.

When Paris dismisses a contestant from her show, she even manages to add insult to injury by telling them: T.T.Y.N. (Talk To You Never.) I believe I have a new slogan to add to my abbreviated speak. I can't get enough!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Flashback Tuesday

I found this photo whilst rummaging among my secret belongings that I keep hidden:



This is Libby Gifford and I at the BCM 80's prom during TWIRP week circa the year 2001. Sorry Libby.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Where's Sharon?

When I was an undergrad, I chose to major in Art.  I did this for one reason and one reason only. There were only two math classes and two science classes to take in the entire curriculum.  Had I ever drawn anything other than bubbles and smileys in notes to friends?  No.  I had no idea what I was doing.  I had no painting, drawing, ceramic, or graphic design skills whatsoever. With the exception of Paint for Windows 95.

So, I started my art classes like a fish out of water... just trying to get by without too much criticism.  I liked going during the summers because there were less students around and less actual class time to be embarrassed by my lack of skills.   My first summer semester, I decided to take a little class called Figure Drawing (non-art majors may know it as 'The Naked People Drawing Class.")  Keep in mind that I had never seen a fully naked person in front of me.  Oh, how that was about to change.   

I get to class that first summer morning and whew, we just did basic drawing exercises.  No nakeds yet.  The next day, same thing.  Followed by another clothed day.  I thought, "Man, this is going better than I thought."  So, imagine my surprise when in walks Sharon, my first nude model.  She had a semi-mullet thing going on and was super pale (not that there's anything wrong with that).  She came in wearing a cape and what I think was a fisherman's hat.  All that was missing were lures and hooks.  Then she dropped her cape.  OMG I was so mortified.  Not for her, but for myself.  It took ALL THAT WAS IN ME not to roll on the floor laughing.  I mean, she was standing there naked!!! I could see her labia!  And it wasn't a pretty one, at that.  

Once the two hour class was finally over and I was safely in my car away from my classmates, I lost it.  I don't believe I have ever laughed so hard in my life.  (Once I finally got a grip, I was able to deal with the rest of this class, followed by seven more elective figure drawing classes to complete my major.  Turns out, figures are much easier to draw than boxes and stuff.  Except hands. Hands always look like mittens.)  After I got home, I showed my roommate Melissa K. what I had done in school that day.  She was in disbelief just as I had been.  So I rolled up my favorite drawing of Sharon and we hid it in my other roommate, Melissa B's room.  Thus started a game of "Where's Sharon?"  For the rest of the summer, whoever would find Sharon, had to then re-hide her in someone else's room.  It was a fun game.  It's always a shock to walk into your closet and find a pair of boobs flashing you.  

A few months later, the roommates and I spied the real Sharon at a local Monjuni's eating with her boyfriend.  We couldn't contain our laughter.  Bless her heart.  I hope to run into her again someday.   I will leave you with a few of my drawings from Figure Drawing (only one is of Sharon... I'll let you decide which one that would be. And warning, you may see a nipple.)